“In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Childofmine, Feb 5, 2015.

  1. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    I ran across this quote today on a Website that listed the "top 60 Buddha quotes."

    I have found much wisdom in Buddhism.

    This is a very simple foundational thought:

    “In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?”

    I really like this.
     
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  2. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member

    I can work on all these things...the first two with conviction and joy...the third..with a sense of hopelessness. Letting go is hard. And it turns out, even when I think I have, I have not.
     
  3. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    Me too, my dear friend. It is nearly impossible to do it all the time/very well/consistently.

    Maybe it is not to be...completely...between a mother and her child.

    But it is still a worthy goal and something to pursue, even knowing we will never get there. Because the more I can let go, the better my life is.

    It calls to mind another relationship that I struggle with...off and on...today, struggling with it. My sister, who is 2 years younger than me, and our relationship. I continue to have unmet expectations. In the far past, I would have pushed her hard to give me what I want. Now today, I am still hurt, still disappointed, but I am taking more responsibility, realizing I have expectations at all.

    It's not her job to live up to my expectations.

    But when you love someone, you care, you want to have a rich relationship with them...and when you try and try and it feels like you are continually rebuffed...or treated carelessly...it's hard.

    So today...I shook myself like a wet dog does...and I said, hey, self, it's YOU not Her.

    And now I'm trying to accept that.

    Ugh. This letting go stuff is always going to be hard.
     
  4. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member

    I like the image of you as a wet dog shaking herself!

    Yes, when we find ourselves over and over in the same position, the same place...it HAS to be ourselves who got us there (getting messed up in the pronouns here! help!). That is something I can recognize. I am the one who keeps doing it. I am the one who has to change.
     
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