LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
Morning All,
You all know that difficult child has had a 1:1 the last two years. It has been a tremendous help for all - him, teachers, administrators, me.
So the first year he had a great one who moved on to a higher position within the company (our school districts contracts with a local company who provide 1:1s, day treatment, parenting classes, and more). Last year his 1:1 was a little hit or miss, but difficult child liked him and a behavioral 1:1 is a lot about the student's trust and relationship with the 1:1.
So, this year we had to get a new one because the last year one had done some things that caused by the instructional support person at the 1:1 company and me to make a change. He started the year with a young woman/girl as a sub. She was very nice and difficult child seemed to like her. Fast forward to last week, the third week of school.
I get a call on Tuesday from the 1:1. difficult child is not cooperating in teen living and doesn't want to complete his worksheet. What the heck does she expect me to do? That's why she is there and that's why there is a teacher in the room. I don't want to be called every time difficult child has an issue! I make some suggestions based on past experience and told her sometimes he needs to just take a five minute walk and get away from the issue. Once he "chills" he usually goes back to compliance.
So difficult child tells me on Tuesday that he was working on this paper that asked him some hard questions like "what is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?" and "what is your greatest accomplishment?" He said he was having trouble coming up wiht some answers and she said "Oh, you big baby."
So, that is what made him frustrated. But, they made in through the rest of the day without incident.
So Thursday I get a call from the nurses office at his school that he's there with a tummy ache. So I speak to difficult child later and he said she (his 1:1) was bugging him about finishing his math. He was getting more and more frustrated. He said that he didn't want to get angry so he went to the nurses office to calm down. Which was actually one of the "safe" places listed in his BIP.
So, he and I have two long conversations about it this weekend so I can garner some additional information. So last night he begins to get really sad as we are talking. He said that he was in Teen Living on Friday and they were watching a movie about bullying. He was doodling on a paper and she came up and said "you are not supposed to be drawing!", took his paper, balled it up and threw it away. He said "You know mom I can listen when I'm drawing. At least I wasn't sleeping like a couple other kids who had there heads down on their desks!" I'm thinking to myself "Geeze, there would have been a better way to handle that situation without setting him off."
Then he goes on to say that she is ruining his reputation at this new school and he was doing so good. His teachers are going to think he's bad. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that she took him out in the hall during that math situation to calm him down and the ISS guy walked by (who walks the halls when he doesn't have someone in the ISS room). He asked her if everything was ok and she said "Oh, he's just having one of his famous hissy fits."
difficult child said now that flat hair guy thinks he's bad!
Does anyone else believe these are not appropriate reactions/behaviors for a 1:1? She told me the other day that she works three jobs. She leaves difficult child and goes to a retirement home and works through dinner, then goes to a small group home for teenage girls and is a crisis counselor on hand over night. Basically, she works 24 hours a day! Perhaps she is not at her best once she gets to difficult child. Maybe that is why she was hired as a sub.
I've called the company this morning, leaving a message that we have to talk about difficult child's 1:1. I just feel she is handling difficult child in a way that is kinda setting him off. I don't negate his part in these issues and we've talked about that as well. But I think she needs to go, NOW.
Sorry this was so long, you know how important it is to vent those who understand!
Sharon
You all know that difficult child has had a 1:1 the last two years. It has been a tremendous help for all - him, teachers, administrators, me.
So the first year he had a great one who moved on to a higher position within the company (our school districts contracts with a local company who provide 1:1s, day treatment, parenting classes, and more). Last year his 1:1 was a little hit or miss, but difficult child liked him and a behavioral 1:1 is a lot about the student's trust and relationship with the 1:1.
So, this year we had to get a new one because the last year one had done some things that caused by the instructional support person at the 1:1 company and me to make a change. He started the year with a young woman/girl as a sub. She was very nice and difficult child seemed to like her. Fast forward to last week, the third week of school.
I get a call on Tuesday from the 1:1. difficult child is not cooperating in teen living and doesn't want to complete his worksheet. What the heck does she expect me to do? That's why she is there and that's why there is a teacher in the room. I don't want to be called every time difficult child has an issue! I make some suggestions based on past experience and told her sometimes he needs to just take a five minute walk and get away from the issue. Once he "chills" he usually goes back to compliance.
So difficult child tells me on Tuesday that he was working on this paper that asked him some hard questions like "what is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?" and "what is your greatest accomplishment?" He said he was having trouble coming up wiht some answers and she said "Oh, you big baby."
So, that is what made him frustrated. But, they made in through the rest of the day without incident.
So Thursday I get a call from the nurses office at his school that he's there with a tummy ache. So I speak to difficult child later and he said she (his 1:1) was bugging him about finishing his math. He was getting more and more frustrated. He said that he didn't want to get angry so he went to the nurses office to calm down. Which was actually one of the "safe" places listed in his BIP.
So, he and I have two long conversations about it this weekend so I can garner some additional information. So last night he begins to get really sad as we are talking. He said that he was in Teen Living on Friday and they were watching a movie about bullying. He was doodling on a paper and she came up and said "you are not supposed to be drawing!", took his paper, balled it up and threw it away. He said "You know mom I can listen when I'm drawing. At least I wasn't sleeping like a couple other kids who had there heads down on their desks!" I'm thinking to myself "Geeze, there would have been a better way to handle that situation without setting him off."
Then he goes on to say that she is ruining his reputation at this new school and he was doing so good. His teachers are going to think he's bad. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that she took him out in the hall during that math situation to calm him down and the ISS guy walked by (who walks the halls when he doesn't have someone in the ISS room). He asked her if everything was ok and she said "Oh, he's just having one of his famous hissy fits."
difficult child said now that flat hair guy thinks he's bad!
Does anyone else believe these are not appropriate reactions/behaviors for a 1:1? She told me the other day that she works three jobs. She leaves difficult child and goes to a retirement home and works through dinner, then goes to a small group home for teenage girls and is a crisis counselor on hand over night. Basically, she works 24 hours a day! Perhaps she is not at her best once she gets to difficult child. Maybe that is why she was hired as a sub.
I've called the company this morning, leaving a message that we have to talk about difficult child's 1:1. I just feel she is handling difficult child in a way that is kinda setting him off. I don't negate his part in these issues and we've talked about that as well. But I think she needs to go, NOW.
Sorry this was so long, you know how important it is to vent those who understand!
Sharon