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Parent Emeritus
10 Days Since I Kicked him out - so far so good.
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<blockquote data-quote="Seeking Peace" data-source="post: 664411" data-attributes="member: 19374"><p>You are doing great. You really are!!! I just want to add one thing: </p><p></p><p>You deserve to be respected in your own home. Especially by your 23 year old son who you allowed to stay there. He's where he is now because of HIS choices, not yours. You would LOVE to have a great, loving, healthy relationship with him, but at this time he's choosing not to. He's not mutually respecting you, who also lives in the home (and pays all the bills on top of it). Not contacting him is not about not loving or deeply caring for him, it's about loving yourself. You're not angry with him. You're taking back your rights! It's not wrong or unrealistic to expect a lot more from your adult son. He's a grown man capable of taking care of himself. You need to take care of yourself. So, if you want to contact him to just send some love, that's fine too. You're simply cutting off his option to live with you anymore, not cutting him off from being your son.</p><p></p><p>That's where we are now with our 20 yr old daughter. Love her, want her to be successful and safe, but living in our home is just not a viable option anymore. It's only shown to be unproductive for her, so it's not the answer, not the fix.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Seeking Peace, post: 664411, member: 19374"] You are doing great. You really are!!! I just want to add one thing: You deserve to be respected in your own home. Especially by your 23 year old son who you allowed to stay there. He's where he is now because of HIS choices, not yours. You would LOVE to have a great, loving, healthy relationship with him, but at this time he's choosing not to. He's not mutually respecting you, who also lives in the home (and pays all the bills on top of it). Not contacting him is not about not loving or deeply caring for him, it's about loving yourself. You're not angry with him. You're taking back your rights! It's not wrong or unrealistic to expect a lot more from your adult son. He's a grown man capable of taking care of himself. You need to take care of yourself. So, if you want to contact him to just send some love, that's fine too. You're simply cutting off his option to live with you anymore, not cutting him off from being your son. That's where we are now with our 20 yr old daughter. Love her, want her to be successful and safe, but living in our home is just not a viable option anymore. It's only shown to be unproductive for her, so it's not the answer, not the fix. [/QUOTE]
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10 Days Since I Kicked him out - so far so good.
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