10 good reasons not to run to the mountains because of the Holiday season?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SuZir, Nov 10, 2013.

  1. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I could use even a one right about now! And unfortunately I fear I'm not the only one needing those before come the Epihpany.

    We of course, most luckily, don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but we do have few other things before Christmas. All Saints Day was still fine and dandy, but today we have had a Father's Day (waaaaaay too busy celebrating Midsummer at June to even consider having that Holiday when most everyone else, we have it in November) and I'm about ready to find some hole on the ground and maybe, just maybe, come out sometime mid January.

    difficult child happened to have some time off and was home for four days. easy child was at the tournament 100 miles away whole that time but still they found the ways to irritate each other and fight. easy child's tournament did not go at all like he had hoped for and he has been super irritated and still husband forced me and difficult child to drive with him to watch easy child's final game in the tournament (in which he didn't even really play.) Fun trip that was. Add some usual mother in law drama, difficult child being absolutely obnoxious little witch (even to his grandpa a little, and that almost never happens) almost whole time at home and me having sore throat and runny nose and you can probably guess it was not a pretty picture.

    I just came back from driving difficult child to the airport and during that time also husband and easy child have managed to get into the fight and both are giving silent treatment to each other - and neither wants to tell me why. So, oh joy!

    I know husband is stressed (he has nasty decisions to make at work, and right before Christmas), could see difficult child is also stressed and anxiety is quite high (lots of turbulence lately and doesn't help that his flatmate was told right before they left for this little break that he is free to find a new employer, they will let him practise with them a while still and may even play him if they end up short on players, but they are trying to get rid of him. After he leaves, difficult child will be very alone.) And as said, easy child is very disappointed with how the tournament went. Still didn't enjoy trying to play peace keeper at all.

    I got one decent, if short, conversation out of difficult child and one half an hour of him letting me caress him a tiniest bit while I was watching tv and him just laying next to me and pretending to doze off. Other than that he was trying his best to drive me up the wall. And he is very good at that. With husband, didn't even take lots of trying. BLAAH!

    But back to the topic! Reasons not to run to the mountains: (UPDATED)
    1. It is cold this time of the year (but you could dress warmly...)
    2. Monks that might pray you to death
    3. Sasquatch
    4. ???
    .
    .
    .
    10.

    Help, please!
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2013
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    2. Bears! They are big and they eat people.

    LOL Either that or monks that might pray you to death and give you very little food.
     
  3. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    But they are already going on to the denning. And they eat mostly berries at fall anyway. At least ours do, not sure about NA species though.
     
  4. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Sasquatch!
     
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    avalanches

    hidden patches of poison ivy

    semi-frozen streams hidden under the snow
     
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Santa might not be able to find you. ;)

    And they'll all just follow you.
     
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I go with Santa cant find them...lol.

    Also maybe the roads will be really bad and you have developed a severe fear of driving in bad weather.

    Become quite sick in the next few weeks. You can hide pieces of onion in a hankie so your eyes and nose water...lol
     
  8. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    There are no bathrooms.

    (The woods actually sound pretty good compared to all the cleaning up after everybody and family drama. I'll come with you.)
     
  9. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Having just come back from the mountains, I have another one...

    Really really dry mountain air -- can't have dry skin and a bad hair day AND deal with family crises all at the same time.
     
  10. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Darn, can't edit my original post any more, but I'm afraid Liahona made a winning point.

    I can deal with no bathroom and air starts to get dry around here anyway very soon, but not yet enough snow for avalanches and I could lead them astray when they would follow me anyway. But the possibility of Santa not finding me? Okay, I think need to stay put and skip running to the mountains thing. :sad:
     
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    TOP TEN REASONS NOT TO RUN TO THE MOUNTAINS BECAUSE OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON

    10.) YOU NEED NEW TIRES, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY ATTACH SNOW CHAINS, AND YOU COULD HAVE A BLOW OUT OF MASS PROPORTIONS, SHOOT THROUGH THE ALUMINUM GUARD RAIL, OVER THE SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN, BEND THE TOP OF A TREE OVER WITH YOU CAR, LAY HELPLESSLY IN YOUR VEHICLE FOR 2 DAYS FREEZING, NO ONE WOULD FIND YOU, YOU'D STARVE NEAR TO DEATH HAVE TO DRINK YOUR OWN URINE TO SURVIVE AND EAT UPLHOLSTERY FOR SUSTINANCE.

    09.) BUNNIES, SQUIRRELS, BEARS, HAWKS, HONEYBADGERS, WOODPECKERS, WEASLES, MARTINS, FERRETS, WILD GOATS, MOUNTAIN LIONS, DEER, EAGLES, WOLVES, AND AN OCCASIONAL STRAY DOG WOULD POSSIBLY OBSERVE YOU DOING NUMBER 10 AND YOU COULD SCAR WILDLIFE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND DNR COULD HOLD YOU LIABLE FOR CAUSING ETERNAL HONEYBADGER NIGHTMARES. NOW WOULD YOU REALLY WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT? THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU EVEN START TO PACK.

    08.) CONSIDER WHICH PART OF THE UPHOLSTERY YOU WOULD EAT, WHERE IT'S BEEN, WHO'S SAT WHERE, AND SBD'S - BECAUSE YOU KNOW PEOPLE BE CRACKIN' EM OFF IN THE CAR AND BLAMING THE DOG ALL THE TIME. THAT COULD BE YOUR LAST MEAL IF YOU CHOOSE 'OH I KNOW LETS GO TO THE MOUNTAINS AND LAST WEEK YOU SAID HUH THIS GALLON OF MILK IS COLD AND HEAVY, AND NOW YOU OUT IN THE DANG SNOW STORM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT SNOW CHAINS ON A TIRE AND THEY HAVE TO WEIGH ABOUT 15 LBS A PIECE. GALLON OF MILK WEIGHS 8 LBS. AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO STAY IN THE FREEZER SECTION BUT FOR ONE GALLON OF MILK AND YOU GOT 3 MORE TIRES TO CHAIN UP. jUST THANK GOD YOU AREN'T IN A 18 WHEELER."

    07.) SASQUATCH - REALLY? THIS WAS A CONCERN? AT THIS POINT I'D BE PRAYING FOR SOME BIG HAIRY SURVIVALIST TO TAKE ME OUT.

    06.) HOT CHOCOLATE, ANOTHER LOG ON THE FIRE, MY FAVORITE ALOE INFUSED SLIPPER SOCKS, CHRISTMAS CAROLS....YEAH DREAM ON PUNK - YOU IN A TREE, FREEZING TO DEATH PRAYING FOR A SALT SHAKER AND DIGGING IN THE GLOVE BOX FOR A KETCHUP PACKET TO PUT ON A FRENCH FRY YOU FOUND DOWN BETWEEN THE SEAT AND THE CONSOLE.

    05.) BLACK FRIDAY. AGAIN. THE COLD HAS FROZEN YOUR BRAIN - YOU NEED TO WAKE UP, AND TRY DOING SOME AUTO-CALA....CALE....CALE EXPEALE........EXERCISES. YOU KNOW ----LEG LIFTS BEFORE THE STINGING NEEDLES SET IN AND GANGRENE SETS IN AND TAKES YOUR FINGERS. & TOES FROM FROST BITE AND YOU END UP NEVER EVER BEING ABLE TO WEAR PEEP TOE SHOES, OR HAVING MANI-PEDI . MAYBE IF YOU'RE LUCKY GOD WILL SPARE YOU AND YOU CAN BE LEFT WITH A NUB ON YOUR RING FINGER SO YOU CAN KEEP THE DIAMOND AND NOT HAVE TO WEAR IT ON A NECKLACE TO PROVE TO OTHER MEN YOUR'RE MARRIED.

    04.) EVER SEE A 120 LB WOLF ON THE HOOD OF YOUR CAR AND EIGHT OF HIS SNARLING BUDDIES- STARING INTO YOUR COLD, SCARED EYES, WONDERING HOW SOON IT WILL BE BEFORE YOU HAVE TO REALLY GET OUT OF THE BROKEN DOWN CAR TO TINKLE AND ....


    03) DID I MENTION YOUR CELL PHONE CARRIER HAS NO SERVICE IN THE MOUNTAINS AND THERE ARE SOLAR FLARES OF EPIC PROPORTIONS ESTIMATED FOR DECEMBER? NOT EVEN 911 COULD LAT/LONG YOUR FROZEN, TIRE CHAIN NEEDIN, NO-GAS, UPHOLSTERY EATING, FROSTBITTEN, FRENCH-FRY WANTIN', OVERBURDENED BLADDER, WOLF-INFESTED, SASQUATCH LOVIN, INA TREE LANDING VEHICLE SELF -

    02) BABY JESUS DIDN'T NEED A MOUNTAIN TO HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS

    01) (((((((((((((DRUMROLL) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO MENTION OF DONKEYS ON THIS MAGICAL. MOUNTAIN TRIP. WHAT KIND OF AAA TRIP TIC SORRY BOOKING AGENT PLANS ANY KIND OF A MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR GOING AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN EEEEEEEEE WHERE AND DOESN'T PENCIL IN SOME KIND OF BEAUTIFUL SIDE BAR WITH DONKEYS IN IT????? WHAT A LOOSER PROPISITION FROM THE GET GO. that SHOULDA BEEN YOUR FIRST CLUE LADY.



    I JUST DON'T NEED A BRICK TO FALL ON MY HEAD TO TELL ME WHEN SOMETHING IS NOT......REPEAT NOT A GOOD IDEA......IF THERE ARE NO DONKEYS OR PUPPIES INVOLVED IT'S PROBABLY ASKING FOR MONEY OR SOLICITING AND ITS JUST NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.
     
  12. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    We went to a cabin in the mountains last year, the week before Christmas. It was great. Just go! Get a half cord of wood, a few bottles of wine and hang out in the hot tub while listening to the fire crackle and the wolves howl. Have fun if you go
     
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