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General Parenting
10 y/o girl, ODD, Borderline (BPD), and/or something else???
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 599646" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I agree ... talk to your mom first, privately, and then have a family meeting with-your sister.</p><p>You sound like gem! I realize you didn't sign up for this, but you are doing something constructive.</p><p>In regard to your sister having control, see if you can let her have control of, say, one TV program each night that you all watch. (Presumably something you can all stomach.) It's one thing for her to control her own TV programs, but when you all are sitting there and she chose the program, it will give her a good feeling. At the end you can force a compliment, "It's not something I normally watch but I'm glad you chose it. It's a change for me. I like xyz character. Someday I'll watch it again." (That way she won't misconstrue your comment and think you need to watch it 500 X in a row, now! lol)</p><p>What about having her choose what's for dinner? Even if it's PB&J it's a start.</p><p>In regard to your sense of control, it is something all of us here struggle with every. Single. Day. Detachment is the name of the game. You have to pretend there's a plexiglass wall between you, or that she is on a YouTube video and it will be over soon. The hard part is not detaching too much ... because she'll be able to tell, and know that she's left out. </p><p>I like the "What could we have done better" Idea that Busywend suggested.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 599646, member: 3419"] I agree ... talk to your mom first, privately, and then have a family meeting with-your sister. You sound like gem! I realize you didn't sign up for this, but you are doing something constructive. In regard to your sister having control, see if you can let her have control of, say, one TV program each night that you all watch. (Presumably something you can all stomach.) It's one thing for her to control her own TV programs, but when you all are sitting there and she chose the program, it will give her a good feeling. At the end you can force a compliment, "It's not something I normally watch but I'm glad you chose it. It's a change for me. I like xyz character. Someday I'll watch it again." (That way she won't misconstrue your comment and think you need to watch it 500 X in a row, now! lol) What about having her choose what's for dinner? Even if it's PB&J it's a start. In regard to your sense of control, it is something all of us here struggle with every. Single. Day. Detachment is the name of the game. You have to pretend there's a plexiglass wall between you, or that she is on a YouTube video and it will be over soon. The hard part is not detaching too much ... because she'll be able to tell, and know that she's left out. I like the "What could we have done better" Idea that Busywend suggested. [/QUOTE]
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10 y/o girl, ODD, Borderline (BPD), and/or something else???
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