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General Parenting
11:30 p.m. and Tyler is AWOL - UPDATE - Found
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 104388" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>In the light of day, I'm surprised that my overridiing emotion is not anger but hurt. I cannot believe that I have a son who is so careless with people who love him. But things are what they are.</p><p></p><p>husband and I have made some decisions about dealing with this and with future stunts. We are simply not going to address or acknowledge them. There's nothing left to say to him. He's heard it all from us, over and over. He will not change his behavior based on what we say.</p><p></p><p>The priority has to be our relationship with thank you (his choice to nurture or not, but we will continue as we have) and the emotional well being of our other kids. I have to tell you, I so wanted to cancel Christmas but that's not fair to the sibs and is meaningless in terms of any effect it will have on thank you. thank you hasn't done anything "wrong" at home, so we will continue on as before. We'll invite him home for the holiday. He can come or not. We will keep it light.</p><p></p><p>husband and I both think that thank you has a very long way to fall before he hits bottom and it's going to be a really ugly ride. We cannot stop it. We toyed with another placement, but to what end? A locked placement would simply delay the inevitable. Another group home (not that there really are any) would only change the geography. We can only hang on to each other and pray that he comes out the other side in one piece.</p><p></p><p>Had dentist appointment this morning and couldn't stop crying - but it turns out assistant has 2 of her own difficult children. It's a small world, you know?</p><p></p><p>Thanks for the words, especially about it getting "easier". I'm sure we'll be going thru this again - will just have to figure out a way to deal with it without wigging. I was halfway ready to drive up to the city, but really? What good would that do? I can't find my son. </p><p></p><p>Heck, sometimes I feel like even when I know where he is, I can't find him.</p><p></p><p>Something akin to peace now - maybe resignation, but also acceptance of our limitations as his parents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 104388, member: 8"] In the light of day, I'm surprised that my overridiing emotion is not anger but hurt. I cannot believe that I have a son who is so careless with people who love him. But things are what they are. husband and I have made some decisions about dealing with this and with future stunts. We are simply not going to address or acknowledge them. There's nothing left to say to him. He's heard it all from us, over and over. He will not change his behavior based on what we say. The priority has to be our relationship with thank you (his choice to nurture or not, but we will continue as we have) and the emotional well being of our other kids. I have to tell you, I so wanted to cancel Christmas but that's not fair to the sibs and is meaningless in terms of any effect it will have on thank you. thank you hasn't done anything "wrong" at home, so we will continue on as before. We'll invite him home for the holiday. He can come or not. We will keep it light. husband and I both think that thank you has a very long way to fall before he hits bottom and it's going to be a really ugly ride. We cannot stop it. We toyed with another placement, but to what end? A locked placement would simply delay the inevitable. Another group home (not that there really are any) would only change the geography. We can only hang on to each other and pray that he comes out the other side in one piece. Had dentist appointment this morning and couldn't stop crying - but it turns out assistant has 2 of her own difficult children. It's a small world, you know? Thanks for the words, especially about it getting "easier". I'm sure we'll be going thru this again - will just have to figure out a way to deal with it without wigging. I was halfway ready to drive up to the city, but really? What good would that do? I can't find my son. Heck, sometimes I feel like even when I know where he is, I can't find him. Something akin to peace now - maybe resignation, but also acceptance of our limitations as his parents. [/QUOTE]
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11:30 p.m. and Tyler is AWOL - UPDATE - Found
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