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Parent Emeritus
11 Months Clean, Using Marijuana Again and More, Just Stunned.
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<blockquote data-quote="Hopingforthe best" data-source="post: 661512" data-attributes="member: 12294"><p>I am so thankful for all the replies you have written and the support that all of you and this forum offers because only here have i found people who truly understand. Yesterday i was talking to my sister on the phone and she asked how Difficult Child was and when i told her he might not be doing too well, she paused and said, "wow, then proceeded to tell me how my brother's son who is Difficult Child's age has matured and i was like what? i am being vulnerable and telling you about my son's relapse and all you can do is compare him with his cousin? Anyway, my point it is hard for most people to understand the pain of dealing with a Difficult Child so i am glad that this space exists.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday i had called the manager of the sober house where Difficult Child lived after rehab to (he had maintained contact with son and he had told me earlier on that i could call him if ever i thought something was not right with Difficult Child) see whether he had seen Difficult Child around town. We talked for a while and he let me know that Difficult Child had been in the sober house three weeks ago to make a presentation and everything seemed fine, but promised he would try to talk to a manager and friend at Difficult Child's job that he was close to and call me today. So today he called to say that Difficult Child failed to appear at his work one day last week and never called. The staff and manager were worried about that but then he showed up the following day and he was still at the said job. But what struck me is that a few other people he talked to (the town where Difficult Child is has a thriving recovery community of young adults so they know one another) told him that Difficult Child's girlfriend (never even knew he had one), the girl that caused him the peer leadership job at the rehab last year had relapsed and was in a bad place. This girl is from our town and they met at rehab. Her drug of choice is heroine so it is is quite possible that son is also using more than marijuana even though the drug kit i used to test him last Sunday came back negative for everything except weed. </p><p></p><p>The upside is that hearing all this was good for me because it strengthened my resolve to stay as detached as possible now that i am convinced Difficult Child has intention of staying sober. Sad as it seems i am now starting to see him in a different light and feeling emotionally detached to him. Tomorrow, i am taking the train to his town so i can drive the car back. I really don't know what to tell him because i have said it all. I am not even sure what will happen when i go there so we'll see.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopingforthe best, post: 661512, member: 12294"] I am so thankful for all the replies you have written and the support that all of you and this forum offers because only here have i found people who truly understand. Yesterday i was talking to my sister on the phone and she asked how Difficult Child was and when i told her he might not be doing too well, she paused and said, "wow, then proceeded to tell me how my brother's son who is Difficult Child's age has matured and i was like what? i am being vulnerable and telling you about my son's relapse and all you can do is compare him with his cousin? Anyway, my point it is hard for most people to understand the pain of dealing with a Difficult Child so i am glad that this space exists. Yesterday i had called the manager of the sober house where Difficult Child lived after rehab to (he had maintained contact with son and he had told me earlier on that i could call him if ever i thought something was not right with Difficult Child) see whether he had seen Difficult Child around town. We talked for a while and he let me know that Difficult Child had been in the sober house three weeks ago to make a presentation and everything seemed fine, but promised he would try to talk to a manager and friend at Difficult Child's job that he was close to and call me today. So today he called to say that Difficult Child failed to appear at his work one day last week and never called. The staff and manager were worried about that but then he showed up the following day and he was still at the said job. But what struck me is that a few other people he talked to (the town where Difficult Child is has a thriving recovery community of young adults so they know one another) told him that Difficult Child's girlfriend (never even knew he had one), the girl that caused him the peer leadership job at the rehab last year had relapsed and was in a bad place. This girl is from our town and they met at rehab. Her drug of choice is heroine so it is is quite possible that son is also using more than marijuana even though the drug kit i used to test him last Sunday came back negative for everything except weed. The upside is that hearing all this was good for me because it strengthened my resolve to stay as detached as possible now that i am convinced Difficult Child has intention of staying sober. Sad as it seems i am now starting to see him in a different light and feeling emotionally detached to him. Tomorrow, i am taking the train to his town so i can drive the car back. I really don't know what to tell him because i have said it all. I am not even sure what will happen when i go there so we'll see. [/QUOTE]
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