Also called automatic thoughts or cognitive distortions. Learning not to use them helps us deal with the difficult people in our lives, adult children included. 1/All or nothing thinking Example: I'm not a total success so I'm a failure." "He's doing badly now, so he he always do badly" 2/Catastrophizing (also called fortune telling...I am very bad with this) You predict the future negatively without considering other more likely outcomes. "I'll be so upset that I won't be able to function at all." "If he doesn't get his act together, my own life will be ruined forever." 3/Disqualifying or discounting the positive: "I did that project well but that doesn't mean I'm competent. I just got lucky." "He has a job, but it's just at a pizza joint. He'll never amount to anything." 4/.Emotional reasoning: You think something must be true because you "feel" (actually believe) it so strongly, ignoring or discounting evidence to the contrary. "I know I do a lot of things well, but I still feel as if I'm a failure." "Even though I have three kids who turned out well, my son who takes drugs proves I'm a horrible mother." 5/Labeling. This is explained as putting a fixed, global label on yourself or others without considering that the evidence might more reasonably lead to a less disastrous conclusion. "I'm a loser." "He's no good." "She's evil." 6/Magnification/minimization: When you evaluate yourself, another person, or a situation, you unreasonably magnify the negative and/or minimize the positive. "Getting a mediocre work evaluation proves how inadequate I am." "Getting high marks doesn't mean I'm smart." "Being a published writer doesn't mean I can really write well." 7/Mental filter: You pay undue attention to one negative detail instead of seeing t he whole picture. "Because I got one low rating, I'm doing a lousy job even though I got many high ratings too." 8/Mind reading: You believe you know what others' motivations are, or what they are thinking, failing to consider other possibilities. "He thinks I don't know what I'm talking about." "They're laughing at me." "They were trying to get me in trouble." 9/Overgeneralization (global thinking): You make a sweeping negative conclusions that goes far beyond the current situation. "I don't have what it takes to make friends." "He is just doing that to annoy me." 10/Personaliztion: You believe others are behaving negatively because of you, without considering more plausible explanations for t heir behavior. ""The waitress didn't give me my check soon enough because I got her angry." "My child ended up in trouble because I wasn't a good parent. It's all my fault." "My child won't talk to me because I definitely did something terrible." 11/"Should" and "must" statements. You have a precise, fixed idea of how you or others should behave and you overestimate how bad it is that these expectations are not met. "He should have brought his own dish of food at the meal he'd been invited too." "He must have never been taught any manners because he didn't say "please." She "should" put up with anything her mother does because, after all, it's her mother. She "should" put up with anything her child does and try to fix it because, after all, it's your child, even though he's now thirty. 12/Tunnel Vision: You only see the negative aspects of a situation: "My son's teacher can't do anything right. He's critical and insensitive and lousy at teaching." "My brother is the meanest person on earth because he criticized me." "My adult child has no good traits, therefore I am a loser too. We both are."