I was having some wandering thoughts last night before going to sleep and realized that one of my problems with tdocs' approach is that I don't understand how they can help difficult child if they treat this like he should just have more will power, instead of helping him understand that he has an illness that he needs to learn the symptoms of, how to manage it, and develop better coping skills. Similar to the concept of 12 step programs- you can't "conquer" the effects of mental illness if you don't first accept the fact that you have one and that it's not going to go away as long as you're in denial about it. I feel like tdocs and others are trying to teach difficult child that he wouldn't have the illness if he'd just do what he's told and this is a constant source of frustration that leaves him feeling like a failure- the same as an addict feels if he believes that the answer to the problem lies in being able to stop after 1 or 2 drinks or highs and continuously tries to do so. That lead me to think that maybe there should be a 12 Step program for those with mental illness - in jest- they could go something like this: 1. Admit he/she is powerless over the fact that they have a mental illness 2. Came to believe that it can be managed and they can have a normal life 3. Made a decision to accept help. 4. Made a searching & fearless inventory of all known symptoms and triggers 5. Admitted to Higher Power and discussed with treatment team what those symptoms and triggers were and how they were effecting them 6. Stopped giving into the illness and using it to manipulate people, and developed a treatment plan, with help 7. With the help of Higher Power and treatment team, worked on prevention, management, and better coping skills 8. Made a list of how lack of management and bad coping skills had effected others 9. Made direct amends to those who'd they had hurt, abused, or manipulated 10. Continued to keep check on any signs of instability and promptly sought help when they reoccur 11. Sought to improve relationship with Higher Power and pursue a healthy social life 12. Having found stability as a result of these steps, tried to carry this message to others with mental illness and advocate for them. Well, that's my first shot at this. LOL!! There isn't already a 12 Step program for mental illness, is there?