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13 year old will NOT abide by house rules...HELP!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Giulia" data-source="post: 520732" data-attributes="member: 14306"><p>I understand what you say, I have been also a child like your children, now an adult <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> With the soup of diagnosis in the sig line <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>That's why I also told about be careful about removing all cell phone and computer, because it is a down hill spiral for more problems. </p><p></p><p>What I also read about <u>The Explosive Child</u> can also apply in what I say. </p><p>I apply these strategies to my dad when I have to parent him (yuck) and well, it works well. We have much less explosions than we had in the past. </p><p>With his son, I also apply these strategies + the system I advised here. </p><p>I really don't think that TEC and this system are a total mismatch, I believe that they complete each other. </p><p>As someone said elsewhere but I don't remember who and where, a behavior program is not absolutely written in the stone : it provide basic ideas and you personalize it. You can also mix up two behavioral programs, like TEC + charts system and consequences. It is what mom used for me, mainly TEC but she added some of charts (at homeopatic dose, as we say here). </p><p>Also, the problem may be not that much the program, but the way we apply it, like we give a too long list, or list is misunderstood, or we ask him something he cannot absolutely complete because of deficit X or Y etc etc... </p><p></p><p>It's not incompatible with therapies. </p><p></p><p>It can be also that it's asking too much, too soon because we feel we have to be "perfects". There are a ton of reasons, along with deficits (so deficits + the rest). </p><p>Less rules, and choosing the battles. This is an expression I won't tire myself from using. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I am not aware of any panacea in this world : otherwise, problems would not exist. </p><p></p><p>If I had to summarize my opinion in two essential sentences, it would be "focus on the positive and ignore the negative : we don't attract ants with vinegar" and "pick your battles, otherwise you go towards death". </p><p>The rest is only literature, as we say in French.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Giulia, post: 520732, member: 14306"] I understand what you say, I have been also a child like your children, now an adult :) With the soup of diagnosis in the sig line :) That's why I also told about be careful about removing all cell phone and computer, because it is a down hill spiral for more problems. What I also read about [U]The Explosive Child[/U] can also apply in what I say. I apply these strategies to my dad when I have to parent him (yuck) and well, it works well. We have much less explosions than we had in the past. With his son, I also apply these strategies + the system I advised here. I really don't think that TEC and this system are a total mismatch, I believe that they complete each other. As someone said elsewhere but I don't remember who and where, a behavior program is not absolutely written in the stone : it provide basic ideas and you personalize it. You can also mix up two behavioral programs, like TEC + charts system and consequences. It is what mom used for me, mainly TEC but she added some of charts (at homeopatic dose, as we say here). Also, the problem may be not that much the program, but the way we apply it, like we give a too long list, or list is misunderstood, or we ask him something he cannot absolutely complete because of deficit X or Y etc etc... It's not incompatible with therapies. It can be also that it's asking too much, too soon because we feel we have to be "perfects". There are a ton of reasons, along with deficits (so deficits + the rest). Less rules, and choosing the battles. This is an expression I won't tire myself from using. I am not aware of any panacea in this world : otherwise, problems would not exist. If I had to summarize my opinion in two essential sentences, it would be "focus on the positive and ignore the negative : we don't attract ants with vinegar" and "pick your battles, otherwise you go towards death". The rest is only literature, as we say in French. [/QUOTE]
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13 year old will NOT abide by house rules...HELP!!!!
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