stepmom Carolyn
New Member
My step-son is nearly 14, and he was diagnosed as severely ODD but now we believe he has conduct disorder. He has been seeing a psychiatrist for years, and is now also seeing a therapist. He and his mother couldn't live together so he came to live with us last summer. Also living with us is my 18-year old step-son, who is terrific.
His dad and I have been together 4 years, and living together for over 2 years now, and everything was great until the younger boy moved in with us. He likes to play violent online games, and yells loudly and profanely at the people he is playing with. He also makes weird noises and is a complete slob. He regularly leaves stuff all over the living room.
My 18-year old daughter came to live with me, and lasted about 4 months. His actions and ugly attitude drove her away. Then my 25-year old and her 4-year old son stayed with us, and he drove them away.
He has stolen cash from me, made online gaming purchases using my credit cards - one night he charged over $600! I bought a safe, and he ruined it with a crowbar and mallet. My expensive sunglasses disappeared. He is very different to me when his dad is not around - he is rude and doesn't respect my personal space.
Last week I came home from work to discover that over 2/3, about $4000 worth, of my clothes and shoes had been cut with scissors, most not repairable. I was devastated that he had done that; not that my clothes were ruined as much as that it was such a personal attack. I stayed with my older daughter for a week, then came home.
He is now trying a stronger medicine, and we aren't pushing things until we see how it works. That means that HE gets to hang out in the living room, while I get to hang out in our bedroom or the spare bedroom. His dad was in denial until the most recent incidents, and I think he is still struggling to accept how bad the son's issues are. However, I feel like I'm the one getting punished. His mother came to town while I was gone, and she and his dad told him that if he did anything else to me, he would be sent to school away from home.
I fear that his next action will be physical - my sister and older daughter are actually afraid for my life. I committed to his dad, and want to help the son, but I'm overwhelmed, fearful, and depressed.
Any help/suggestions/guidance would be appreciated.
His dad and I have been together 4 years, and living together for over 2 years now, and everything was great until the younger boy moved in with us. He likes to play violent online games, and yells loudly and profanely at the people he is playing with. He also makes weird noises and is a complete slob. He regularly leaves stuff all over the living room.
My 18-year old daughter came to live with me, and lasted about 4 months. His actions and ugly attitude drove her away. Then my 25-year old and her 4-year old son stayed with us, and he drove them away.
He has stolen cash from me, made online gaming purchases using my credit cards - one night he charged over $600! I bought a safe, and he ruined it with a crowbar and mallet. My expensive sunglasses disappeared. He is very different to me when his dad is not around - he is rude and doesn't respect my personal space.
Last week I came home from work to discover that over 2/3, about $4000 worth, of my clothes and shoes had been cut with scissors, most not repairable. I was devastated that he had done that; not that my clothes were ruined as much as that it was such a personal attack. I stayed with my older daughter for a week, then came home.
He is now trying a stronger medicine, and we aren't pushing things until we see how it works. That means that HE gets to hang out in the living room, while I get to hang out in our bedroom or the spare bedroom. His dad was in denial until the most recent incidents, and I think he is still struggling to accept how bad the son's issues are. However, I feel like I'm the one getting punished. His mother came to town while I was gone, and she and his dad told him that if he did anything else to me, he would be sent to school away from home.
I fear that his next action will be physical - my sister and older daughter are actually afraid for my life. I committed to his dad, and want to help the son, but I'm overwhelmed, fearful, and depressed.
Any help/suggestions/guidance would be appreciated.