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15yo no control
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 741366" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. This happens in good families. We think WE are why our kids act out but it becomes less us and more peers as our kids hit middle and high school. We have little influence compared to peers. We really dont. And if they find bad kids, well, there are enough of them in any school. </p><p></p><p>Military school will just send him back to you. They dont deal with kids who wont behave. You can try IOP. I would have done something rash about stealing from us or anyone. When my daughter started using drugs i called the cops on her for pot, which was then not legal anywhere. I wanted to scare her straight. She also escaped her bedroom through a window at night and was homeschooled but she kept upping the drugs. She.managed to get out of the house and the cops would bring her home for curfew violations.</p><p></p><p>I WAS tough and she got tossed out of our home because of our two littles at 19 and turned her life around. </p><p></p><p>Been over a decade now and she is doing great. But it was a scary crapshoot that worked for her. All difficult kids are different. My daughter started weed at 12 although until she quit I had not guessed it had started so young. She steadily moved up the ladder to meth and cocaine. We didnt know all the drugs she had used until again after she quit and confessed.</p><p></p><p>Pot today is really hard to argue against with our kids because it is legal in many states and will be legal all over in my opinion and kids think of pot like alcohol. If I had younger kids now i would shut up about pot as long as they worked and took care of their needs and didn't live with me but I forbid smoking of any kind on my property and that includes pot. So a fifteen year old could not smoke it while living at home. Not my home. My home/my rules.</p><p></p><p>Have you ever drugged tested your son? Because kids usually dont need to steal to get pot. It is the harder street drugs they need to steal to buy and steal they do. If my kid had stolen from me I would have called the cops to again show her I wont play nice and that she can not steal.</p><p></p><p>Your sons drivers license is coming up. Say no to driving. Unless his grades go up and he behaves for you and (God help me) dont buy him a car...he will crack it up. They often do. And why give him a weapon to drive while he is impaired? We stopped letting our daughter drive our van, and never bought her anything on wheels, after her first accident. Her second and third were "friends" stupidly allowong her to drive. At least it was not our responsibility...by then she was over 18. In one accident a lady had been hurt and she was sued for $14,000. We made her pay it until she had proven she was totally sober for several years. She paid about half of it herself then my ex paid if off because she was putting herself through college...her own loan.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry. You have a hard ride. Do not let your family tell you how to handle him. They will. Do what tou feel will work. You have until he is 18 until you have no rights at all. I personally dont think second and third chances and letting them get away with crime sends the right message but all of us do what we feel is right; what we can bear. I would rather have them in trouble with cops at 15 than 18. My daughter was but her record is clean now. She started to straighten out after we told her she had to quit drugs or leave. She left, we cried. Not everyone responds to that but she did.</p><p></p><p>Love and light. Others will come along.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 741366, member: 1550"] Hi there. This happens in good families. We think WE are why our kids act out but it becomes less us and more peers as our kids hit middle and high school. We have little influence compared to peers. We really dont. And if they find bad kids, well, there are enough of them in any school. Military school will just send him back to you. They dont deal with kids who wont behave. You can try IOP. I would have done something rash about stealing from us or anyone. When my daughter started using drugs i called the cops on her for pot, which was then not legal anywhere. I wanted to scare her straight. She also escaped her bedroom through a window at night and was homeschooled but she kept upping the drugs. She.managed to get out of the house and the cops would bring her home for curfew violations. I WAS tough and she got tossed out of our home because of our two littles at 19 and turned her life around. Been over a decade now and she is doing great. But it was a scary crapshoot that worked for her. All difficult kids are different. My daughter started weed at 12 although until she quit I had not guessed it had started so young. She steadily moved up the ladder to meth and cocaine. We didnt know all the drugs she had used until again after she quit and confessed. Pot today is really hard to argue against with our kids because it is legal in many states and will be legal all over in my opinion and kids think of pot like alcohol. If I had younger kids now i would shut up about pot as long as they worked and took care of their needs and didn't live with me but I forbid smoking of any kind on my property and that includes pot. So a fifteen year old could not smoke it while living at home. Not my home. My home/my rules. Have you ever drugged tested your son? Because kids usually dont need to steal to get pot. It is the harder street drugs they need to steal to buy and steal they do. If my kid had stolen from me I would have called the cops to again show her I wont play nice and that she can not steal. Your sons drivers license is coming up. Say no to driving. Unless his grades go up and he behaves for you and (God help me) dont buy him a car...he will crack it up. They often do. And why give him a weapon to drive while he is impaired? We stopped letting our daughter drive our van, and never bought her anything on wheels, after her first accident. Her second and third were "friends" stupidly allowong her to drive. At least it was not our responsibility...by then she was over 18. In one accident a lady had been hurt and she was sued for $14,000. We made her pay it until she had proven she was totally sober for several years. She paid about half of it herself then my ex paid if off because she was putting herself through college...her own loan. I am sorry. You have a hard ride. Do not let your family tell you how to handle him. They will. Do what tou feel will work. You have until he is 18 until you have no rights at all. I personally dont think second and third chances and letting them get away with crime sends the right message but all of us do what we feel is right; what we can bear. I would rather have them in trouble with cops at 15 than 18. My daughter was but her record is clean now. She started to straighten out after we told her she had to quit drugs or leave. She left, we cried. Not everyone responds to that but she did. Love and light. Others will come along. [/QUOTE]
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