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Substance Abuse
16 year old son absolutely out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 489939" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>First of all let me say that many of us totally understand. In a zillion years most of us never imagined that our bright and talented teens would go completely haywire. Living with fear that your much loved teen will never be "normal" again is justified. I sent our difficult child#1 to residential substance abuse centers on two occasions and he ended up in a Department of Juvenile Justice substance abuse center for a third try. Although he was and is almost always very respectful to us...the counselor at the first center was right. When I told him "I just want my son back" he told me "you will never have the same boy back...with lots of help you may have a functioning young man whom you can enjoy but your "old" son is gone forever". That was ten or eleven years ago and I cried like never before. How I hoped he was wrong. He was not. Once I was able to "kinda" accept that my goal changed to hoping he would evolve into a new version of his good self.</p><p></p><p>You are dealing with a lifestyle pattern that probably is worse than you have envisioned. His innocense and yours will likely not return. on the other hand it is time for you to make a plan that may help him get on track.</p><p>Many CD families have instituted a zero tolerance plan in their homes where any drugs etc. result in a call to the police. Many CD families have curfew lockout times. Many families have explored CHINS.</p><p>Many have sent their sons to substance abuse treatment centers (outpatient and inpatient). Most have reached out to Al Anon to help themselves cope with the addiction problems. </p><p></p><p>Analyze your choices and if you have a husband or SO make sure that both of you are in agreement on what steps you are going to take ... and do not waiver. I'm genuinely sorry that you are living this nightmare. Sending hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 489939, member: 35"] First of all let me say that many of us totally understand. In a zillion years most of us never imagined that our bright and talented teens would go completely haywire. Living with fear that your much loved teen will never be "normal" again is justified. I sent our difficult child#1 to residential substance abuse centers on two occasions and he ended up in a Department of Juvenile Justice substance abuse center for a third try. Although he was and is almost always very respectful to us...the counselor at the first center was right. When I told him "I just want my son back" he told me "you will never have the same boy back...with lots of help you may have a functioning young man whom you can enjoy but your "old" son is gone forever". That was ten or eleven years ago and I cried like never before. How I hoped he was wrong. He was not. Once I was able to "kinda" accept that my goal changed to hoping he would evolve into a new version of his good self. You are dealing with a lifestyle pattern that probably is worse than you have envisioned. His innocense and yours will likely not return. on the other hand it is time for you to make a plan that may help him get on track. Many CD families have instituted a zero tolerance plan in their homes where any drugs etc. result in a call to the police. Many CD families have curfew lockout times. Many families have explored CHINS. Many have sent their sons to substance abuse treatment centers (outpatient and inpatient). Most have reached out to Al Anon to help themselves cope with the addiction problems. Analyze your choices and if you have a husband or SO make sure that both of you are in agreement on what steps you are going to take ... and do not waiver. I'm genuinely sorry that you are living this nightmare. Sending hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
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16 year old son absolutely out of control
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