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Substance Abuse
16 year old son absolutely out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="about2gocrazy" data-source="post: 490560" data-attributes="member: 13406"><p>First, I would like to thank all of you for your advice and assistance. It's been a very chaotic last few days for us, but our son is getting help. We had been sent him to a private Christian school after he agreed to finish his education earlier this year; they had no idea what they were dealing with either. Here goes:</p><p></p><p>He was arrested and expelled from school on Friday after drugs and a knife were found in his locker. There weren't any actual drugs other than marijuana, but there were syringes. He was released into our custody after spending the weekend in juvenile detention. He is now facing charges for poessession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia - ludicrously enough, we live in a state where marijuana possession is a very minor infraction. What really broke our hearts was the condition he came home in - the family doctor identified the ailment as opiate withdrawals. She did a drug test and a physical and we found out he had been intravenously using heroin and a strong pain medication called Dilaudid, as well as a multitude of other substances to a lesser degree. We didn't offer him any choice in the matter; yesterday we took him to a 60-day intensive youth drug treatment program.</p><p></p><p>When we got home, we called the police and had them search the house. A drug dog found heroin, pain pills, and syringes hidden behind an electrical socket, as well as two stashes of marijuana, but - thank God - no firearms. We do not know if he will face charges for these. Once the police had cleared the house we also pored over everything in his briefcase and found another suicide note, seemingly a "pact" with a girl at his school. We notified her parents immediately, and confirmed that she is pregnant with our son's child. We found razor blades with dried blood on them, endless amounts of short stories and poetry about drugs, death and suicide, several hundred dollars in cash, and a computer thumb drive filled with home-made digital "sex tapes" of him with various girls he went to school with and pictures of pentagrams he had carved into his thighs. Our search lasted about an hour, and I can say it was one of the longest and most painful hours of my entire life.</p><p></p><p>There was also a sticky note with a list of web sites selling chemicals we were not familiar with, but Googling around revealed that they were "research chemicals" - experimental hallucinogens and stimulants. Some of those can be purchased legally, none of the web sites seemed to have any method of verfifying who they were sending these chemicals to. What is truly frightening is these are drugs whose health effects and consequences in humans are almost unknown. This seems absolutely unreal. When he was in fourth grade and built his first computer we never imagined, never dreamed for a second that things would become so out of hand. We love our son and it seems like we narrowly missed losing him entirely. It's overwhelmingly scary.</p><p></p><p>What we are hoping for is that the judge will steer him towards recovery, not just throw him in jail where who knows what he'll learn about and try when he gets out. We have hired an attorney, not to block him from facing consequences for his behavior, but to advocate for him and keep him from slipping through the cracks. He was so weak from those withdrawals that he couldn't even walk up the stairs; we and the doctor both agreed that he needed to physically recover before we decided what to do next. We are working with the treatment program to figure out what should be done next - I read several comments regarding wilderness therapy, which seems like it may be effective.</p><p></p><p>His therapist at the treatment center has diagnosed him with Major Depressive Disorder, Opioid dependency, Cannabis dependency, cautioned us that we will continue to find relics of his behavior for some time to come, even while he isn't there - more notes, more knives, more pornography, possibly more drugs. We're not sure how much more heartbreak we can take. We're both incredibly thankful that he's getting the help he needs but it's clear to us now that he's got gravely serious problems that need to be worked out. When I read the posts saying that my "old son" is gone, I literally wept. It's so much, all at once, that we don't even know where to begin. It's as if the ground we stand on has been yanked from under our feet.</p><p></p><p>I'm using my vacation time from work because sorting through this mess is literally a 24/7 ordeal. My wife is having serious problems coping with all of this and has begun to see a therapist; I may do the same thing. Our youngest child is too young to understand what's going on with his older brother but he knows something is wrong and is worried about him. Our middle child is a year away from entering high school and she has a better grasp on what is happening, when we talked to her she mentioned she'd smelled pot smoke in his room as long ago as 2007 (when our oldest was only 12). We've gotten a lot of support from our extended family; my father (his grandfather) lives near the treatment facility and is visiting him daily.</p><p></p><p>Again, thank you all for your support. I will keep you updated as things progress.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="about2gocrazy, post: 490560, member: 13406"] First, I would like to thank all of you for your advice and assistance. It's been a very chaotic last few days for us, but our son is getting help. We had been sent him to a private Christian school after he agreed to finish his education earlier this year; they had no idea what they were dealing with either. Here goes: He was arrested and expelled from school on Friday after drugs and a knife were found in his locker. There weren't any actual drugs other than marijuana, but there were syringes. He was released into our custody after spending the weekend in juvenile detention. He is now facing charges for poessession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia - ludicrously enough, we live in a state where marijuana possession is a very minor infraction. What really broke our hearts was the condition he came home in - the family doctor identified the ailment as opiate withdrawals. She did a drug test and a physical and we found out he had been intravenously using heroin and a strong pain medication called Dilaudid, as well as a multitude of other substances to a lesser degree. We didn't offer him any choice in the matter; yesterday we took him to a 60-day intensive youth drug treatment program. When we got home, we called the police and had them search the house. A drug dog found heroin, pain pills, and syringes hidden behind an electrical socket, as well as two stashes of marijuana, but - thank God - no firearms. We do not know if he will face charges for these. Once the police had cleared the house we also pored over everything in his briefcase and found another suicide note, seemingly a "pact" with a girl at his school. We notified her parents immediately, and confirmed that she is pregnant with our son's child. We found razor blades with dried blood on them, endless amounts of short stories and poetry about drugs, death and suicide, several hundred dollars in cash, and a computer thumb drive filled with home-made digital "sex tapes" of him with various girls he went to school with and pictures of pentagrams he had carved into his thighs. Our search lasted about an hour, and I can say it was one of the longest and most painful hours of my entire life. There was also a sticky note with a list of web sites selling chemicals we were not familiar with, but Googling around revealed that they were "research chemicals" - experimental hallucinogens and stimulants. Some of those can be purchased legally, none of the web sites seemed to have any method of verfifying who they were sending these chemicals to. What is truly frightening is these are drugs whose health effects and consequences in humans are almost unknown. This seems absolutely unreal. When he was in fourth grade and built his first computer we never imagined, never dreamed for a second that things would become so out of hand. We love our son and it seems like we narrowly missed losing him entirely. It's overwhelmingly scary. What we are hoping for is that the judge will steer him towards recovery, not just throw him in jail where who knows what he'll learn about and try when he gets out. We have hired an attorney, not to block him from facing consequences for his behavior, but to advocate for him and keep him from slipping through the cracks. He was so weak from those withdrawals that he couldn't even walk up the stairs; we and the doctor both agreed that he needed to physically recover before we decided what to do next. We are working with the treatment program to figure out what should be done next - I read several comments regarding wilderness therapy, which seems like it may be effective. His therapist at the treatment center has diagnosed him with Major Depressive Disorder, Opioid dependency, Cannabis dependency, cautioned us that we will continue to find relics of his behavior for some time to come, even while he isn't there - more notes, more knives, more pornography, possibly more drugs. We're not sure how much more heartbreak we can take. We're both incredibly thankful that he's getting the help he needs but it's clear to us now that he's got gravely serious problems that need to be worked out. When I read the posts saying that my "old son" is gone, I literally wept. It's so much, all at once, that we don't even know where to begin. It's as if the ground we stand on has been yanked from under our feet. I'm using my vacation time from work because sorting through this mess is literally a 24/7 ordeal. My wife is having serious problems coping with all of this and has begun to see a therapist; I may do the same thing. Our youngest child is too young to understand what's going on with his older brother but he knows something is wrong and is worried about him. Our middle child is a year away from entering high school and she has a better grasp on what is happening, when we talked to her she mentioned she'd smelled pot smoke in his room as long ago as 2007 (when our oldest was only 12). We've gotten a lot of support from our extended family; my father (his grandfather) lives near the treatment facility and is visiting him daily. Again, thank you all for your support. I will keep you updated as things progress. [/QUOTE]
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16 year old son absolutely out of control
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