Up until a few weeks ago my son seemed like an above average child. He is 17 years old and the best I can guess, my troubles started about 3 weeks ago when he started hanging out with a new friend (that is 19 with no job and no car) that both, my husband and I were leary of. Then, my son wrecked his car. I did not freak out on him or anything. I just decided that this needed to be a learning opportunity for him and told him that we would help him make a plan and he would need to follow through with it. Now, the car was parked at his friends house and I promised the parents we would have it towed so, I encouraged my son to call around and find a shop that would give us a repair estimate and asked him to pay for the $45 car dolly. He did not have the rainy day money saved that we had initially told him he should and became irate and immediately posted nasty comments online knowing I would see them and there was just no talking to him without him being disrespectful that day. I had enough by the time dinner rolled around and when he kept responding to me with YEP, I asked him to please say yes maam, as he normally does, and he stormed out of the room. Before he could get all the way out of the room, I said, come back here young man and he did stop. At that point I just told him that he was having a difficult time with his car situation but, that he needed to step up and make some effort to help handle it and that he should never be disrespectful or act hateful especially when we are just trying to help him.
Well, I woke up the next morning to a knife stabbed into his ASVAB study book and a post on his social network, that he had checked into Waffle House at 2:00am. Things progressively got worse from there because he did not come home that morning and my husband was going to go have the car towed from my sons friends house but, found that my son had vandalized the car making it worth only scrap so, we did the only thing we could do and had it towed to a scrap yard. In the meantime, my son slipped into the house while my husband was in the garage and when he saw he was leaving he refused to let him know where he was going and threw out enough hurtful words to leave his stepdad standing there with his jaw on the ground. At this point, my husband calls me at work and we are both dumbfounded however, this is a kid that wouldnt dare use any kind of cuss word infront of us and for the most part, is ALWAYS respectful, so, I can not be naïve enough to not be suspecting drugs .
I try to make the next part shorter . So, my son is texting nastiness at me now and says hes coming to get some things. I told him that he was exhibiting violence with his words and actions and he wasnt welcome to go into his own room alone because I didnt want him to destroy anything. I told him he would need to wait until I got home to come back to the house and really, my intention was not to let him leave, but make him talk.
Then, I got home and decided to take a look in his room and with very little effort, I did find pot and baggies with rements, indicating that he has been doing it often. At this point I told my husband to start getting me boxes and I boxed up my sons entire room and moved it all to the living room. My son showed up wearing a hat that had a marijuana leaf on it and shook it at my husband saying How ya like that and that was all she wrote. My husband calmly told him that we had decided that he needed to get out and to take all of his stuff because we found dope and it was not welcome in our house. While he cussed and carried on, he loaded all of his boxes out to his girlfriends mothers truck (he told me a long time ago that he didnt want to go there anymore because she smoked pot in the house AND as far as I have known he never went back over there) and he was yelling and giving us some not so nice hand signals as they drove off.
First, let me say, this is not my sons typical attitude AT ALL. I really believe that this has been brought on by drugs and most likely more than marijuana and it is breaking my heart. There is another side of me that says I can not stop this behavior if this is drugs and it is unsafe for this to be going on around my 10 year old. I know I sound like a horrible mother but, even though my eyes are puffy from crying for 2 days, I dont want him back in my house right now. If I call the cops, it ruins his chances to join the Airforce and that has been his life long dream. In Oklahoma, they would also force him to come home even though he is not ready and he would probably be violent! I am praying and lifting him up to God for healing and I dont know what else to do.
Well, I woke up the next morning to a knife stabbed into his ASVAB study book and a post on his social network, that he had checked into Waffle House at 2:00am. Things progressively got worse from there because he did not come home that morning and my husband was going to go have the car towed from my sons friends house but, found that my son had vandalized the car making it worth only scrap so, we did the only thing we could do and had it towed to a scrap yard. In the meantime, my son slipped into the house while my husband was in the garage and when he saw he was leaving he refused to let him know where he was going and threw out enough hurtful words to leave his stepdad standing there with his jaw on the ground. At this point, my husband calls me at work and we are both dumbfounded however, this is a kid that wouldnt dare use any kind of cuss word infront of us and for the most part, is ALWAYS respectful, so, I can not be naïve enough to not be suspecting drugs .
I try to make the next part shorter . So, my son is texting nastiness at me now and says hes coming to get some things. I told him that he was exhibiting violence with his words and actions and he wasnt welcome to go into his own room alone because I didnt want him to destroy anything. I told him he would need to wait until I got home to come back to the house and really, my intention was not to let him leave, but make him talk.
Then, I got home and decided to take a look in his room and with very little effort, I did find pot and baggies with rements, indicating that he has been doing it often. At this point I told my husband to start getting me boxes and I boxed up my sons entire room and moved it all to the living room. My son showed up wearing a hat that had a marijuana leaf on it and shook it at my husband saying How ya like that and that was all she wrote. My husband calmly told him that we had decided that he needed to get out and to take all of his stuff because we found dope and it was not welcome in our house. While he cussed and carried on, he loaded all of his boxes out to his girlfriends mothers truck (he told me a long time ago that he didnt want to go there anymore because she smoked pot in the house AND as far as I have known he never went back over there) and he was yelling and giving us some not so nice hand signals as they drove off.
First, let me say, this is not my sons typical attitude AT ALL. I really believe that this has been brought on by drugs and most likely more than marijuana and it is breaking my heart. There is another side of me that says I can not stop this behavior if this is drugs and it is unsafe for this to be going on around my 10 year old. I know I sound like a horrible mother but, even though my eyes are puffy from crying for 2 days, I dont want him back in my house right now. If I call the cops, it ruins his chances to join the Airforce and that has been his life long dream. In Oklahoma, they would also force him to come home even though he is not ready and he would probably be violent! I am praying and lifting him up to God for healing and I dont know what else to do.
