Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
17 yr old son doing drugs, hanging w members of a gang in NY
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 675755" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Kids.......My youngest girl, wanted a tattoo, really, really badly, when she was 16 (it is the "in" thing, and also cultural for Hawaiians). She can be pretty insistent, respectfully so.</p><p>"Other kids have them Mom." (batting eyelashes and smiling...) This went on for quite some time.</p><p>I said no and stood my ground.</p><p>"But why Mom?"</p><p></p><p>"Because you are 16, I do not want any part of this decision, I do not agree with it. When you are 18, you will be an adult, and you can decide, it is only two years, you can wait. A tattoo is forever."</p><p></p><p>I did not want to be responsible for that one, I could hear it "Why did you let me do that Mom?"</p><p></p><p>She is 21, and still, no tattoo. Yay me!</p><p></p><p>Kids change, 17 is so young. I do not think you are wasting your time Defiant, you are searching every possibility to offer your son, rather than the "street life". I agree with Copa, that you may be successful, speaking culinary language, since that is what his interests are.</p><p></p><p>I also agree with SWOT, that you have to be careful, that you are not vesting more time and energy, even funds, than what your son is. He has to have buy in to this. Enthusiasm for it.</p><p></p><p>I think a fair compromise would be to show him your research, and see what he says. If he is engaged and likes the idea, there is the answer. If he turns his head, or makes disparaging remarks, well, that is an answer as well.</p><p></p><p>He needs to be working at this too. It will be <em>his decision.</em></p><p></p><p>I am happy,I do not have to worry about my daughter asking me why did I let her get that tattoo at 16?</p><p>For you, if son ever comes back to you and says "You did not give me guidance" You have a story to tell him.</p><p>You most certainly have. But, it has to be a mutual thing, I think. Son has to start thinking about this, too.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully, you can visit with your Rabbi, perhaps, a spiritual advisor, will set the spark in your boy. One never knows. Copa is correct, it is a question of faith.</p><p></p><p>Viktor Frankl spoke of the spark, and setting the mark higher. I think the fact that you are doing all of this work, indicates that to your boy, that you see a bright future for him. Purpose and meaning.</p><p></p><p>At least son has a dream to own a restaurant. You could tell him that you wish to see that one day for him, when you present your ideas and research.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you the best with all of this.</p><p></p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 675755, member: 19522"] Kids.......My youngest girl, wanted a tattoo, really, really badly, when she was 16 (it is the "in" thing, and also cultural for Hawaiians). She can be pretty insistent, respectfully so. "Other kids have them Mom." (batting eyelashes and smiling...) This went on for quite some time. I said no and stood my ground. "But why Mom?" "Because you are 16, I do not want any part of this decision, I do not agree with it. When you are 18, you will be an adult, and you can decide, it is only two years, you can wait. A tattoo is forever." I did not want to be responsible for that one, I could hear it "Why did you let me do that Mom?" She is 21, and still, no tattoo. Yay me! Kids change, 17 is so young. I do not think you are wasting your time Defiant, you are searching every possibility to offer your son, rather than the "street life". I agree with Copa, that you may be successful, speaking culinary language, since that is what his interests are. I also agree with SWOT, that you have to be careful, that you are not vesting more time and energy, even funds, than what your son is. He has to have buy in to this. Enthusiasm for it. I think a fair compromise would be to show him your research, and see what he says. If he is engaged and likes the idea, there is the answer. If he turns his head, or makes disparaging remarks, well, that is an answer as well. He needs to be working at this too. It will be [I]his decision.[/I] I am happy,I do not have to worry about my daughter asking me why did I let her get that tattoo at 16? For you, if son ever comes back to you and says "You did not give me guidance" You have a story to tell him. You most certainly have. But, it has to be a mutual thing, I think. Son has to start thinking about this, too. Hopefully, you can visit with your Rabbi, perhaps, a spiritual advisor, will set the spark in your boy. One never knows. Copa is correct, it is a question of faith. Viktor Frankl spoke of the spark, and setting the mark higher. I think the fact that you are doing all of this work, indicates that to your boy, that you see a bright future for him. Purpose and meaning. At least son has a dream to own a restaurant. You could tell him that you wish to see that one day for him, when you present your ideas and research. Wishing you the best with all of this. leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
17 yr old son doing drugs, hanging w members of a gang in NY
Top