18 in December and already talking about refusals

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Apr 30, 2014.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    "You can't make me do anything when I'm 18," difficult child says every now and then.
    NOT. I can cut off his Internet, phone, games, strip his room, etc. Of course, then he would couch-surf.
    Oh, and the medications. He doesn't have to take them when he's 18.
    The threats have only just begun.
    He will graduate from HS when he is 20.
    Just trying not to stress too much, too far ahead of time ...
     
  2. Hi, Terry.
    I'm back again for awhile. Hope that you guys have been okay.

    I had to laugh when I read the title to your thread. Today I was thinking about the December day when my difficult child will turn 18 too!!! but I have a lot longer to go than you do! and was thinking about that for totally different reasons. I kept thinking today...can I hang on for 7.5 more years???? Mostly I look forward to the day when the communication/negotiations/involvement with his father are very minimal and possibly end for good....I realize that the issues with a difficult child never end. They change, get better or worse but they never end. But, hopefully my interaction with his dad will end....eventually.

    Yes, I agree it is too far ahead of time for you to be stressing yourself about that. I am sure there are plenty of more pressing concerns for you. But it will be here for you soon so it is prudent to start thinking about these issues now. Yikes. Seven months will fly by. You (we) will be hanging out on Parent Emeritus before you know it.
     
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Terry,
    I also have difficult child telling us tons of stuff he won't have to do once he graduates. Thankfully, medication refusal has not been one of them. What mine is really driving me crazy with is graduation and it isn't for another year yet (and then he will still be in high school through age 20). He is already talking about who he wants to invite, how will he know where to sit, how will he know when to get up, etc.....
     
  4. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    We'll you just burst my little bubble! Here I was thinking that I might be home free when difficult child turns 18. If she's still unkind and disrespectful, I was planning on showing her the door. Of course, that's probably not going to work out well. She too will likely still be in HS. I don't like to wish my life away, but I do long for this struggle to be over! I'll stay tuned for how you handle the refusals.


    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
     
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    For me, medication refusal = no car keys. Miss KT's desire to drive was greater than her not wanting to take her medications. That was the only thing she cared about...that and her phone.
     
  6. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Lets just say that it only gets better from here. LOL

    I think you have the right mindset.
     
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow I cant believe he is almost 18! Wasnt he in middle school yesterday...lol.

    I probably had the weirdest experience to a kid turning 18 with Cory. He became the most complacent and nicest kid on the earth right after he turned 18 because he thought we would toss him out with the trash. I think someone told him we werent obliged to let him live at home after that age. He was also under the impression that as long as he lived at home I was his guardian. That helped a lot! Of course it didnt last. He met his first babies mom and it was all over.
     
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Mine did not wait until he was 18. He always was my early bloomer. LOL He managed to refuse his way into the judicial system.
     
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all. Had an appointment by myself with-difficult child's therapist last week and he said to go back to square one with taking away things. :) We 've been too lax lately. So I told difficult child that he needed to brush his teeth and shower every day, as well as not smart-mouth me, and then I'd give him back his "toys." He took a shower within the next 5 min. :)
    He passed behind-the-wheel this week. Ack.
     
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So, what do you all think of getting POA with my son in December? I think it will help keep things under control.
     
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I always responded with "as long as you are under my roof....' Could be why she moved at 18!!! Lmao

    sent from mobile phone
     
  12. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I don't know about a POA. You could however think about making him sign a legal contract for housing with rules for behavior included. Kind of like a very personal apartment rental agreement.

    Really a POA would only give you the right to make decisions, right? I don't know if it would do anything should he chose not to. Maybe I'm wrong on that though. All my POA's have been to make medical decisions or buy things/pay bills.
     
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all!
    I think we'll take him to our attorney and have him sign a contract. difficult child won't know the difference between something that is court mandated and something that is "just" contractual. I will talk to husband and the therapist. Thank you again!
    P.S. the going-back-to-basics thing is working. More or less. :) He tries to buck the system, but I'm the system and I try harder. :)
     
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