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Substance Abuse
18 y/o daughter using pot and missing opportunities
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 631026" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would stop making any suggestions. She is "of age" and most of our adult children don't listen to us once they are legal, if they did before that. That's like asking her to volunteer for a survival camp to get the experience of other people and while it may sound good to you, it's something I doubt your daughter will even consider. Yes, most of us tried to fix everyone and we actually were successful exactly 0% of the time because we learned the hard way we can't fix anyone but ourselves and our reactions to others and life.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is going to do what she's going to do. All your overtalking to her does is irritate her and make her even more sure that she's right and needs to get away. If she finds a path that shows her that she can help people and if that's what she wants to do, it will happen, but on her terms and only if it happens. Why would she agree to leave her friends? They are important to her.</p><p></p><p>Everyone's life is their own personal journey. Sometimes even we can't control what happens to us. How can we think we can control somebody else?</p><p></p><p>I highly suggest you read the great book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beatty (I t hink that's how you spell it). At any rate, it's a real eye opener for fixers and those who think they can change other people. It was the beginning of my own journey toward serenity and peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 631026, member: 1550"] I would stop making any suggestions. She is "of age" and most of our adult children don't listen to us once they are legal, if they did before that. That's like asking her to volunteer for a survival camp to get the experience of other people and while it may sound good to you, it's something I doubt your daughter will even consider. Yes, most of us tried to fix everyone and we actually were successful exactly 0% of the time because we learned the hard way we can't fix anyone but ourselves and our reactions to others and life. Your daughter is going to do what she's going to do. All your overtalking to her does is irritate her and make her even more sure that she's right and needs to get away. If she finds a path that shows her that she can help people and if that's what she wants to do, it will happen, but on her terms and only if it happens. Why would she agree to leave her friends? They are important to her. Everyone's life is their own personal journey. Sometimes even we can't control what happens to us. How can we think we can control somebody else? I highly suggest you read the great book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beatty (I t hink that's how you spell it). At any rate, it's a real eye opener for fixers and those who think they can change other people. It was the beginning of my own journey toward serenity and peace. [/QUOTE]
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18 y/o daughter using pot and missing opportunities
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