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18 year old son not going to therapy or taking his medication
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<blockquote data-quote="Floundering Mum" data-source="post: 734108" data-attributes="member: 23117"><p>I just realised that, in my fragility and stress over my son, I wrote the wrong age. My son is nearly 20. Ooops.</p><p>Thank you OHH and BBU for your words of comfort and wisdom. My "mama instincts" tell me that this is more than generalised anxiety and depression, and those two aspects, along with the rest may be part of a larger personality disorder. </p><p>I want to speak to him about lying about his medications because he seems so much worse but he will do one or more of the following things: lie further and gaslight me, use offence as defence or behave in an insulting and passive aggressive manner until he cools off. (Murmured insults and put-downs that, when asked to repeat, will say never mind.) I think that the only reason he's respectful is because he thinks we're stupid and gullible. And to be honest, I've been perpetuating that mistake for a long time to keep the peace in the family. Finding this site, however, has made me realise that I'm doing neither him, nor hubby and I any favours. We may be his "soft place to land" but he's not learning that there are people in his future who may call him out on his behaviour and make him accountable. </p><p>Also, I have my own issues with depression and anxiety, and this is triggering me. Furthermore, hubby has a heart condition. I feel for our healths' sakes, we need to say something. I can't make my son take his medications or go to the psychologist but I, at least, need to tell him I can tell by his whole demeanour that he is no longer on his medications and, by the looks of it, went off them suddenly, and that, if something happens and he needs immediate help, it's more likely we'll be calling an ambulance than dealing with it ourselves as that has proven to be ineffective.</p><p>Those are all hypotheticals, however, I don't know what to do because I'm so afraid of triggering him in some way. He's the proverbial sleeping bear you don't want to poke.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Floundering Mum, post: 734108, member: 23117"] I just realised that, in my fragility and stress over my son, I wrote the wrong age. My son is nearly 20. Ooops. Thank you OHH and BBU for your words of comfort and wisdom. My "mama instincts" tell me that this is more than generalised anxiety and depression, and those two aspects, along with the rest may be part of a larger personality disorder. I want to speak to him about lying about his medications because he seems so much worse but he will do one or more of the following things: lie further and gaslight me, use offence as defence or behave in an insulting and passive aggressive manner until he cools off. (Murmured insults and put-downs that, when asked to repeat, will say never mind.) I think that the only reason he's respectful is because he thinks we're stupid and gullible. And to be honest, I've been perpetuating that mistake for a long time to keep the peace in the family. Finding this site, however, has made me realise that I'm doing neither him, nor hubby and I any favours. We may be his "soft place to land" but he's not learning that there are people in his future who may call him out on his behaviour and make him accountable. Also, I have my own issues with depression and anxiety, and this is triggering me. Furthermore, hubby has a heart condition. I feel for our healths' sakes, we need to say something. I can't make my son take his medications or go to the psychologist but I, at least, need to tell him I can tell by his whole demeanour that he is no longer on his medications and, by the looks of it, went off them suddenly, and that, if something happens and he needs immediate help, it's more likely we'll be calling an ambulance than dealing with it ourselves as that has proven to be ineffective. Those are all hypotheticals, however, I don't know what to do because I'm so afraid of triggering him in some way. He's the proverbial sleeping bear you don't want to poke. [/QUOTE]
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18 year old son not going to therapy or taking his medication
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