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General Parenting
19 year old kicked out for the 4th time....
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<blockquote data-quote="MuM_of_OCD_kiddo" data-source="post: 452389" data-attributes="member: 12241"><p>Hi there and welcome!</p><p></p><p>I think you are doing amazingly alright and you are responding correctly by refusing to be his doormat or enabling his rude and disrespectful behavior. The scared, nervous, resentful and unhappy/uncomfortable feelings you have - you are entitled to [and then some] - and having been down that road myself - I know it took a long time getting there and also a long time to get to the point of overcoming the "parenting guilt trip". </p><p></p><p>You are totally in the right to say NO to him and to put him out. It is obvious that he is just playing along in order to get a crash pad, with no intent to honor any of your terms. Put him out, tell him it us the last time he was welcome to stay in your home, and until he is willing to deal with and work on resolving his problems, for the time being - this is it. I'd also let him know if he thinks to go through with his threat of breaking all of your windows, you will have him arrested [and be firm about that too!]. He already knows that you will not hesitate to call the cops on him, maybe that will make him reconsider following through.</p><p></p><p>Do protect yourself,<strong> change your locks</strong>, make sure the windows, garage, storage doors are closed and locked when you go to work, think about adding a security system or getting a large new dog to your household. If you think he might have stolen from you, do an inventory on your bank and credit cards, check your checkbook and the unused new checks that are still in boxes somewhere. <strong>Change all internet and banking/credit related passwords </strong>[all of them and make them significantly different from what they were before!] Call or go to the police and make them aware that there is trouble brewing, and that he is not allowed to be on or near the premises. </p><p></p><p>This forum is a good place to be - we all more or less "been there done that" and some of us multiple times as yourself. Hang in there and allow yourself to grief but also to be free from the mayhem that follows your difficult child around. Heartfelt hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MuM_of_OCD_kiddo, post: 452389, member: 12241"] Hi there and welcome! I think you are doing amazingly alright and you are responding correctly by refusing to be his doormat or enabling his rude and disrespectful behavior. The scared, nervous, resentful and unhappy/uncomfortable feelings you have - you are entitled to [and then some] - and having been down that road myself - I know it took a long time getting there and also a long time to get to the point of overcoming the "parenting guilt trip". You are totally in the right to say NO to him and to put him out. It is obvious that he is just playing along in order to get a crash pad, with no intent to honor any of your terms. Put him out, tell him it us the last time he was welcome to stay in your home, and until he is willing to deal with and work on resolving his problems, for the time being - this is it. I'd also let him know if he thinks to go through with his threat of breaking all of your windows, you will have him arrested [and be firm about that too!]. He already knows that you will not hesitate to call the cops on him, maybe that will make him reconsider following through. Do protect yourself,[B] change your locks[/B], make sure the windows, garage, storage doors are closed and locked when you go to work, think about adding a security system or getting a large new dog to your household. If you think he might have stolen from you, do an inventory on your bank and credit cards, check your checkbook and the unused new checks that are still in boxes somewhere. [B]Change all internet and banking/credit related passwords [/B][all of them and make them significantly different from what they were before!] Call or go to the police and make them aware that there is trouble brewing, and that he is not allowed to be on or near the premises. This forum is a good place to be - we all more or less "been there done that" and some of us multiple times as yourself. Hang in there and allow yourself to grief but also to be free from the mayhem that follows your difficult child around. Heartfelt hugs! [/QUOTE]
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19 year old kicked out for the 4th time....
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