2 difficult child funnies

[Wiped Out]

The other day husband picked up difficult child from wrestling practice. He gets into the van and tells husband that he thinks he has herpes!!!!! husband keeps a straight face and asks him if he has been sexually active. difficult child is horrified and is like "NO"! husband then tells him how it is a sexually transmitted disease and explains it to difficult child. Then he asks difficult child why he thinks he has herpes. difficult child replies, "I have a big rash on my legs!".


Then he tells husband that his friend's sister is "knocked-up" and is only one year older than they are. He tells husband that the girl wants to keep the baby but difficult child said he told her that her sister shouldn't keep the baby because they children are expensive. He said you have to buy formula and diapers along with buying birthday and Christmas presents!!

 

[StressedM0mma]

Hahahaha!! I love the herpes story! Why is it our difficult child's tend to be so naive? And, I wish all you had to to for a baby is buy formula and diapers oh and presents. It would make life a lot simpler.

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

Thanks, WO - Love this! I almost spit up some of my coffee! I should have known better by the title of this thread not to take a sip! SFR

 

[buddy]

Great morning laugh! (Totally brought back q thinking he had his period).....

Glad he gave such sound advice about the poor knocked up girl, lol!

 

[Jody]

toofuny. I would have burst out laughing. How did your husband keep a straight face. Buddy, can you share that one about Q? I must have missed it or my memories not that good.

 

[cubsgirl]

 

[StressedM0mma]

Oh Buddy. I missed the Q thinking he had his period. These kids.

 

[buddy]

It was shortly after I joined here, Q came out of the bathroom and very seriously said he had started his period. (I assume some blood from a hard BM?---sorry if too much information)

I suppressed the laugh of course..... I explained that only girls get a period ( not sure how we missed that, or he just didn't process that part? )

He wasn't sure I knew what I was talking about so my dad reassured him too, sigh.

Still cracks me up.

 

[dstc_99]

Too funny! Hopefully he didn't over hear someone say MRSA though. Our wrestling team just had to get their mats treated for MRSA. ICK

 

[buddy]

Oh, and my nephew told everyone his dad ( my sister's ex) was impotent.

After some talking with my sister, it turns out that whenever they got ready to go somewhere, he lost his temper all the time!

(Impatient )

 

[StressedM0mma]

Oh Man that is hilarious!! Both the period and the impotent! When I was a little girl I apparently went around and told all of the neighbors that my dad was an alcoholic. (He is a diabetic) My mom had some explaining to do to the neighbors over that one.

 

[buddy]

Hey wiped, is the rash ok? Poor kid, lol

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh no! lol!

I hope he didn't tell kids at school about the "herpes." Although I was shocked when my gastroenterologist read over my chart a couple wks ago and noted I'd had herpes. I corrected him and said, "Shingles."
"Yes, herpes zoster.
Sheesh. That second word makes all the difference.

I hope his leg rash is better. If he's like my son, he's probably scratched it into oblivion so you can't tell what kind of rash it was to begin with.

Yeah, kids ARE expensive!!

 

[HaoZi]

Might be a good time to brief him on how to prevent children - using the right words! lol

 

[Wiped Out]

I have no idea about the rash-he hasn't brought it up with me yet!

Buddy-too funny about the period

HaoZi-husband did have that talk with him on the way home that night

 

[TerryJ2]

I hope he wasn't too upset or shocked about The Talk.

 

[buddy]

Boy, I was! I remember telling my mom ok, fine only if that's what I'd have to do to get a baby AND as long as I could keep my clothes on!

 

[Calamity Jane]

This is hilarious. The diabetic/alcoholic confusion had me doubled over!