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20 yr old son returned home. Just when I thought things were improving
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 658422" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi DS, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I see in your signature that your husband has anger issues. Are the two of you in agreement that your son needs to be doing something other than staying in bed all day. If you are not in agreement your son will know this and he may use it against you. Our Difficult Child are very in tune with our soft spots and they will use it against us.</p><p></p><p>The first thing I would do is go over ground rules with your husband to make sure you are both on the same page. Then the two of you need to sit down with your son and tell him what the rules will be if he chooses to continue living under your roof. Give some thought to what you really expect of him. I would not make a really long list of rules, keep it basic. Remind him that you are not obligated to allow him to stay in your home. Does your son plan on going back to school?</p><p></p><p>Our Difficult Child have such an attitude of entitlement and think we the parents owe them. Trust me on this, you do not owe your son anything.</p><p>Our Difficult Child are also very good at trying to guilt us into to doing what they want, be aware of this. You say your son is suicidal, again this is not uncommon. I have been through this with my son as well. My son has also used threats of suicide to try and guilt me into helping him.</p><p></p><p>I would also suggest that you and your son get into some counseling. Ideally you, husband and son.</p><p></p><p>Your son is in YOUR home and you deserve to be treated with respect. If your son cannot do that then you need to prepare yourself that you may have to ask him to leave.</p><p></p><p>It's not easy dealing with all of this but I can tell you there are many of us here that have been through similar and in some cases much worse and we have all survived.</p><p></p><p>Stay close to this site and keep posting, keep reading other posts and learn.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you........................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 658422, member: 18516"] Hi DS, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I see in your signature that your husband has anger issues. Are the two of you in agreement that your son needs to be doing something other than staying in bed all day. If you are not in agreement your son will know this and he may use it against you. Our Difficult Child are very in tune with our soft spots and they will use it against us. The first thing I would do is go over ground rules with your husband to make sure you are both on the same page. Then the two of you need to sit down with your son and tell him what the rules will be if he chooses to continue living under your roof. Give some thought to what you really expect of him. I would not make a really long list of rules, keep it basic. Remind him that you are not obligated to allow him to stay in your home. Does your son plan on going back to school? Our Difficult Child have such an attitude of entitlement and think we the parents owe them. Trust me on this, you do not owe your son anything. Our Difficult Child are also very good at trying to guilt us into to doing what they want, be aware of this. You say your son is suicidal, again this is not uncommon. I have been through this with my son as well. My son has also used threats of suicide to try and guilt me into helping him. I would also suggest that you and your son get into some counseling. Ideally you, husband and son. Your son is in YOUR home and you deserve to be treated with respect. If your son cannot do that then you need to prepare yourself that you may have to ask him to leave. It's not easy dealing with all of this but I can tell you there are many of us here that have been through similar and in some cases much worse and we have all survived. Stay close to this site and keep posting, keep reading other posts and learn. ((HUGS)) to you........................ [/QUOTE]
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20 yr old son returned home. Just when I thought things were improving
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