Hello,
Our 20yr old son has given us many years of behavior issues than have escalated. He is diagnosed with ADHD and we have tried medications, counseling, biofeedback, and lifestyle coaching with no success. Problems seemed to worsen when he went to college at 18. He did very poorly and hardly went the first year, did not go back the second year. We suspected drug use and confirmed he was smoking and selling pot at 19. He said he stopped selling- no way to confirm. He was told further drug use and he had to leave as will not tolerate in our home. He works part time at a fast food place with minimum wage and no benefits. Has not returned to school. Has gone from being social to few friends. He lies constantly, steals from us, and is verbally abusive. Takes no responsibility for his actions- always someone else's fault. He is angry, selfish and immature. He has a 17yr old girlfriend who is pregnant and due in 2 weeks- we found out the end of August. The baby has not made him step up and try to find a better job or some type of training program to get a better job or stop the drug use. We had started counseling for us as a family and for him separately but he will no longer go. 5 days ago we received notice that he had a criminal speeding ticket, charged with reckless driving and as of 10/13/12 will be dropped from our insurance. He hid this from us and it is one in a long line of traffic violations and accidents that include past totaled vehicles. My husband took the car key away as said he should not be driving as he is a danger to himself and others. Though this will make it very difficult for him to get to work as it is 12 miles away and no bus, we feel he needs to accept responsibility for the consequences that come with his actions and it is his problem to figure out how to get transportation. we then found he was smoking pot in his room. He did admit to using weed but his take is weed is no big deal, not a real drug, but did say he would leave. He did leave but his parting words were go f- yourself and he hates us. He has not spoken to us or responded to calls/texts since. I fully expect he will continue to cut us out of his life and will also cut us off for our soon to be born grandson. He is currently living with his girlfriend's family so at least we know he is safe but it doesn't force him to actually have to face what it requires to live on his own. I vary between heartbroken and angry. I constantly worry about what will happen to him and when the police will be at my door.
Our 20yr old son has given us many years of behavior issues than have escalated. He is diagnosed with ADHD and we have tried medications, counseling, biofeedback, and lifestyle coaching with no success. Problems seemed to worsen when he went to college at 18. He did very poorly and hardly went the first year, did not go back the second year. We suspected drug use and confirmed he was smoking and selling pot at 19. He said he stopped selling- no way to confirm. He was told further drug use and he had to leave as will not tolerate in our home. He works part time at a fast food place with minimum wage and no benefits. Has not returned to school. Has gone from being social to few friends. He lies constantly, steals from us, and is verbally abusive. Takes no responsibility for his actions- always someone else's fault. He is angry, selfish and immature. He has a 17yr old girlfriend who is pregnant and due in 2 weeks- we found out the end of August. The baby has not made him step up and try to find a better job or some type of training program to get a better job or stop the drug use. We had started counseling for us as a family and for him separately but he will no longer go. 5 days ago we received notice that he had a criminal speeding ticket, charged with reckless driving and as of 10/13/12 will be dropped from our insurance. He hid this from us and it is one in a long line of traffic violations and accidents that include past totaled vehicles. My husband took the car key away as said he should not be driving as he is a danger to himself and others. Though this will make it very difficult for him to get to work as it is 12 miles away and no bus, we feel he needs to accept responsibility for the consequences that come with his actions and it is his problem to figure out how to get transportation. we then found he was smoking pot in his room. He did admit to using weed but his take is weed is no big deal, not a real drug, but did say he would leave. He did leave but his parting words were go f- yourself and he hates us. He has not spoken to us or responded to calls/texts since. I fully expect he will continue to cut us out of his life and will also cut us off for our soon to be born grandson. He is currently living with his girlfriend's family so at least we know he is safe but it doesn't force him to actually have to face what it requires to live on his own. I vary between heartbroken and angry. I constantly worry about what will happen to him and when the police will be at my door.
