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20yo difficult child determined to get married - soon
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<blockquote data-quote="pajamas" data-source="post: 499350" data-attributes="member: 13499"><p>Thank you all for your thoughts. Yesterday and today have been consumed with CeCe's issues - she needs to be back in psychiatric hospital, but there are no openings in the one where her psychiatrist is on staff (and the one nearer to us is a vacation for her, if they'll admit her at all). </p><p></p><p>Maybe I'm ruling things out prematurely, but I think it might be very hard to get guardianship. He would strongly oppose it (so would husband) and he's very articulate, on the surface. When he was a child, we had little success finding tdocs because they were so impressed with him - and no therapy happened.</p><p></p><p>I try to challenge my own attitudes and expectations, and agree that a stable, loving family situation may be sufficient, but fear that he's suppressing a lot of his own personality to achieve it here. And I worry that they aren't as stable as they may seem. husband worries that our family may seem "rich" to them because of the neighborhood we live in, etc., and that Holden is a 'good catch'. (MHO, that's dinosaur thinking. Then again, his relatives think he's always there to bail them out - and he is.) </p><p></p><p>I'm rambling ... the bottom line is, I agree that happiness is different for each individual and I don't think I'm imposing standard he can't achieve. The hopes I hold out are the same ones his teachers and others have over the years. It's more important for him to be happy and stable than to meet any external expectations, even mine. </p><p></p><p>More later - now to see if I need to relive husband from the tantrum upstairs ....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pajamas, post: 499350, member: 13499"] Thank you all for your thoughts. Yesterday and today have been consumed with CeCe's issues - she needs to be back in psychiatric hospital, but there are no openings in the one where her psychiatrist is on staff (and the one nearer to us is a vacation for her, if they'll admit her at all). Maybe I'm ruling things out prematurely, but I think it might be very hard to get guardianship. He would strongly oppose it (so would husband) and he's very articulate, on the surface. When he was a child, we had little success finding tdocs because they were so impressed with him - and no therapy happened. I try to challenge my own attitudes and expectations, and agree that a stable, loving family situation may be sufficient, but fear that he's suppressing a lot of his own personality to achieve it here. And I worry that they aren't as stable as they may seem. husband worries that our family may seem "rich" to them because of the neighborhood we live in, etc., and that Holden is a 'good catch'. (MHO, that's dinosaur thinking. Then again, his relatives think he's always there to bail them out - and he is.) I'm rambling ... the bottom line is, I agree that happiness is different for each individual and I don't think I'm imposing standard he can't achieve. The hopes I hold out are the same ones his teachers and others have over the years. It's more important for him to be happy and stable than to meet any external expectations, even mine. More later - now to see if I need to relive husband from the tantrum upstairs .... [/QUOTE]
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20yo difficult child determined to get married - soon
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