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21-year-old pregnant, we are overwhelmed
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 765036" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Seekinghope…</p><p></p><p>I really feel for you I do but I think your husband is right on this one unless you plan on raising the baby. But I would not let your daughter back in your house if I were you. </p><p>It doesn’t sound to me like your daughter has changed. She’s just in a new kind of crisis that involves a child. </p><p></p><p>Honestly this may be the fork in the road L needs to take a close look at her life and see how she got here and where she intends to go from here. </p><p></p><p>It is not up to you in my opinion to rescue her regardless of the baby. And one can only hope she’s not still partying while pregnant now as that can create behavioral problems in the child. </p><p></p><p>I know you must be torn and feel like you need to do something but I think it is your daughter who needs to step up not you. And I wouldn’t do anything that might jeopardize your marriage. </p><p></p><p>If I were you I think I would gently suggest to your daughter that she might consider adoption as an option. As you have already stated she is not capable of looking after a child and it doesn’t sound like you and your husband are in a position to raise another one.</p><p></p><p>I say all of this with 3 grandchildren of my own who I love dearly but given they way they have been raised because of their parents addiction problems and mental illness issues etc Never taking complete responsibility to run a household or anything and now my son has passed away….but I would have rather my grandchildren have gone to adopted parents who would be responsible and provide structure and opportunities to have a future. Love is more than blood ties.</p><p></p><p> Currently 2 out of 3 of my grandchildren have very little education, no structure, and no opportunities for their futures. I recently tried to gain guardianship of them and Child Protective Services found no fault with the mom so I am at a loss right now for them. But bottom line is as much as I love my grandchildren I would much rather have known that they would be well-cared for then to exist in the state they’re in today.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes the measure of love is not comfortable for anyone but necessary for the well-being of everyone involved. </p><p></p><p>Just try and keep in mind that your daughter has options. You are not her only hope. </p><p>And maybe just maybe she’ll do the right thing for the sake of the baby. </p><p></p><p>Your situation is in my prayers.</p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 765036, member: 3305"] Seekinghope… I really feel for you I do but I think your husband is right on this one unless you plan on raising the baby. But I would not let your daughter back in your house if I were you. It doesn’t sound to me like your daughter has changed. She’s just in a new kind of crisis that involves a child. Honestly this may be the fork in the road L needs to take a close look at her life and see how she got here and where she intends to go from here. It is not up to you in my opinion to rescue her regardless of the baby. And one can only hope she’s not still partying while pregnant now as that can create behavioral problems in the child. I know you must be torn and feel like you need to do something but I think it is your daughter who needs to step up not you. And I wouldn’t do anything that might jeopardize your marriage. If I were you I think I would gently suggest to your daughter that she might consider adoption as an option. As you have already stated she is not capable of looking after a child and it doesn’t sound like you and your husband are in a position to raise another one. I say all of this with 3 grandchildren of my own who I love dearly but given they way they have been raised because of their parents addiction problems and mental illness issues etc Never taking complete responsibility to run a household or anything and now my son has passed away….but I would have rather my grandchildren have gone to adopted parents who would be responsible and provide structure and opportunities to have a future. Love is more than blood ties. Currently 2 out of 3 of my grandchildren have very little education, no structure, and no opportunities for their futures. I recently tried to gain guardianship of them and Child Protective Services found no fault with the mom so I am at a loss right now for them. But bottom line is as much as I love my grandchildren I would much rather have known that they would be well-cared for then to exist in the state they’re in today. Sometimes the measure of love is not comfortable for anyone but necessary for the well-being of everyone involved. Just try and keep in mind that your daughter has options. You are not her only hope. And maybe just maybe she’ll do the right thing for the sake of the baby. Your situation is in my prayers. LMS [/QUOTE]
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