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21 year old son in and out of house
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 634220" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Absolutely, all the time. Our neural pathways in our brains are programmed to take care of our children. We have done it from the beginning, and it's very difficult to start the process of stopping. And then, once you start the process, it's very difficult to keep it constantly on a forward path.</p><p></p><p>In fact, it's impossible. </p><p></p><p>So that is completely okay, young mom. You are not going to do "this" perfectly. You are going to make mistakes. </p><p></p><p>Let a few things be your guiding principles:</p><p></p><p>1. Am I about to do something for him that he should do for himself? </p><p>2. Am I being reasonable?</p><p>3. Do I resent what I am about to do?</p><p>4. If I am confused, I will wait. I will say this: If you need a decision right now, the decision is no. </p><p>5. I will work hard to keep it simple. </p><p>6. I will work on MYSELF, using the tools I assemble, every single day. I will meditate, pray, exercise, write a gratitude list, go to a 12 step meeting, read books like CoDependent No More, write down my thoughts in a journal, write and read on this board, buy some flowers for the kitchen table, bake a pie, dig weeds out of the yard, have lunch with a friend, go for a walk, sit on the front porch and watch the sunset. I will take care of me. I will do at least one nice thing for me every single day. I will do one thing different every single day. This way, doing all of this, I will start to change my neural pathways toward healthier behaviors for myself, my relationship with my son, and all of my relationships.</p><p></p><p>You are not going wrong. You are on the toughest journey of your entire life. Be kind and gentle with yourself. There is nothing you will do that is the "one fatal wrong mistake". </p><p></p><p>Keep sharing here. It will help. We get it. We really do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 634220, member: 17542"] Absolutely, all the time. Our neural pathways in our brains are programmed to take care of our children. We have done it from the beginning, and it's very difficult to start the process of stopping. And then, once you start the process, it's very difficult to keep it constantly on a forward path. In fact, it's impossible. So that is completely okay, young mom. You are not going to do "this" perfectly. You are going to make mistakes. Let a few things be your guiding principles: 1. Am I about to do something for him that he should do for himself? 2. Am I being reasonable? 3. Do I resent what I am about to do? 4. If I am confused, I will wait. I will say this: If you need a decision right now, the decision is no. 5. I will work hard to keep it simple. 6. I will work on MYSELF, using the tools I assemble, every single day. I will meditate, pray, exercise, write a gratitude list, go to a 12 step meeting, read books like CoDependent No More, write down my thoughts in a journal, write and read on this board, buy some flowers for the kitchen table, bake a pie, dig weeds out of the yard, have lunch with a friend, go for a walk, sit on the front porch and watch the sunset. I will take care of me. I will do at least one nice thing for me every single day. I will do one thing different every single day. This way, doing all of this, I will start to change my neural pathways toward healthier behaviors for myself, my relationship with my son, and all of my relationships. You are not going wrong. You are on the toughest journey of your entire life. Be kind and gentle with yourself. There is nothing you will do that is the "one fatal wrong mistake". Keep sharing here. It will help. We get it. We really do. [/QUOTE]
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21 year old son in and out of house
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