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Parent Emeritus
21 year old son in and out of house
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<blockquote data-quote="wakeupcall" data-source="post: 634228" data-attributes="member: 2287"><p>Sweetie, we all fall down...and get back up. I'm back on this board after being gone for four years or so. We went through a really bad time a few years ago and my difficult child decided to live with his father after our divorce. That hurt, but boy, did it give me some distance and LOTS of eye-opening. I wasn't really enabling him (his father was and is), but he was eating me alive and I could hardly breathe. I couldn't do anything without feeling guilty for some reason or another. Now, he comes to visit (I live 8 miles from him) and asks for money. My new husband helps me see that this is what he's subtly doing, but it's still very difficult for me to not fall into the trap. He's almost nineteen and has been sleeping all day and running the streets all night. Where is he getting the money? Must be from his father, not from me. He got a job about a week ago...so we shall see if it makes a difference. I desperately want to have a relationship with him as an ADULT, not a blood-sucker. Time will tell if he can just stay out of jail long enough.</p><p></p><p>You have come to a wonderful place. The members here are wonderfully intelligent, caring, and HAVE BEEN THERE! They can help you immensely to be more grounded. We are all glad you are here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wakeupcall, post: 634228, member: 2287"] Sweetie, we all fall down...and get back up. I'm back on this board after being gone for four years or so. We went through a really bad time a few years ago and my difficult child decided to live with his father after our divorce. That hurt, but boy, did it give me some distance and LOTS of eye-opening. I wasn't really enabling him (his father was and is), but he was eating me alive and I could hardly breathe. I couldn't do anything without feeling guilty for some reason or another. Now, he comes to visit (I live 8 miles from him) and asks for money. My new husband helps me see that this is what he's subtly doing, but it's still very difficult for me to not fall into the trap. He's almost nineteen and has been sleeping all day and running the streets all night. Where is he getting the money? Must be from his father, not from me. He got a job about a week ago...so we shall see if it makes a difference. I desperately want to have a relationship with him as an ADULT, not a blood-sucker. Time will tell if he can just stay out of jail long enough. You have come to a wonderful place. The members here are wonderfully intelligent, caring, and HAVE BEEN THERE! They can help you immensely to be more grounded. We are all glad you are here. [/QUOTE]
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21 year old son in and out of house
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