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22, with 4 month old now stealing from us.
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 638114" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>My daughter is a 40 year old difficult child and I love her dearly - yes I said that! Having said it I would also add that I am living in No Contact without her. You can still deeply love your child and live your own life without them being in it. Although I love my daughter with all my heart I will not give her the keys to my heart because she has proven, with them, she will only bring hurt and anger. I will not allow her to continually run and ruin my life. So you can love your child but refuse to put up with the way they choose to live their lives. Even oust them and declare yourself free of them. No-one has the right to mentally/emotionally abuse you and just as you would rid yourself of a partner that would treat you this way, the same must go for the adult child who does the same.</p><p>As for keeping the baby - perhaps just being very firm with a big "No" you are not taking the baby might work. One thing I think you should be doing is keeping a journal on the care or lack there of of the baby; the comings and goings and the impact this may have on the baby and report anything wrong(not bathing is neglect) to family services. This might be of great help to you later if you have to go for custody. </p><p></p><p>Although no-one can diagnose your daughter, it is likely that because of your daughter's lifestyle and choices she will never go for any kind of proper mental health services. In this case I recommend trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together to give you a guideline as to what <em>kind</em> of disorder you may be dealing with. The old "if it walks like a duck" may be the closest you ever get to determining what is going on with her. </p><p></p><p>Also you may want to go to your local police and tell them what is going on, maybe they can bust them/their friends for drugs.</p><p></p><p>Since your friend was once a deputy, is he willing to follow the two of them to give you some idea to where/what they are up to?</p><p></p><p>It is very strong of you to get the restraining order - how is this going to affect dealing with the baby? Can you get a legal custody agreement drawn up before the intervention? If so, maybe they will be at a weak point during the intervention and be willing to sign it. </p><p></p><p>Man this is such a hard issue because once there is a baby on the scene, the difficult children now have a new weapon in which to use and abuse, manipulate and control both your emotions and metal well being. I feel for you because the addition of a baby, in which you have no control unless they give it, is just heart-breaking. Maybe, they want to get high more than they want the baby? </p><p>Besides the not bathing of the baby can you think of anything else that is considered neglect of the baby? Not using the money from welfare for the care of the baby would be considered welfare fraud if you could prove it - like with receipts maybe? Thank God the baby is only 4 months old, and unable to grasp the realities that are going on.</p><p></p><p>One more thing, not to alarm you, but there are people who will abuse the baby when they are out of it on drugs. This puts the baby in jeopardy every time they take him/her out into the drug community.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 638114, member: 18366"] My daughter is a 40 year old difficult child and I love her dearly - yes I said that! Having said it I would also add that I am living in No Contact without her. You can still deeply love your child and live your own life without them being in it. Although I love my daughter with all my heart I will not give her the keys to my heart because she has proven, with them, she will only bring hurt and anger. I will not allow her to continually run and ruin my life. So you can love your child but refuse to put up with the way they choose to live their lives. Even oust them and declare yourself free of them. No-one has the right to mentally/emotionally abuse you and just as you would rid yourself of a partner that would treat you this way, the same must go for the adult child who does the same. As for keeping the baby - perhaps just being very firm with a big "No" you are not taking the baby might work. One thing I think you should be doing is keeping a journal on the care or lack there of of the baby; the comings and goings and the impact this may have on the baby and report anything wrong(not bathing is neglect) to family services. This might be of great help to you later if you have to go for custody. Although no-one can diagnose your daughter, it is likely that because of your daughter's lifestyle and choices she will never go for any kind of proper mental health services. In this case I recommend trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together to give you a guideline as to what [I]kind[/I] of disorder you may be dealing with. The old "if it walks like a duck" may be the closest you ever get to determining what is going on with her. Also you may want to go to your local police and tell them what is going on, maybe they can bust them/their friends for drugs. Since your friend was once a deputy, is he willing to follow the two of them to give you some idea to where/what they are up to? It is very strong of you to get the restraining order - how is this going to affect dealing with the baby? Can you get a legal custody agreement drawn up before the intervention? If so, maybe they will be at a weak point during the intervention and be willing to sign it. Man this is such a hard issue because once there is a baby on the scene, the difficult children now have a new weapon in which to use and abuse, manipulate and control both your emotions and metal well being. I feel for you because the addition of a baby, in which you have no control unless they give it, is just heart-breaking. Maybe, they want to get high more than they want the baby? Besides the not bathing of the baby can you think of anything else that is considered neglect of the baby? Not using the money from welfare for the care of the baby would be considered welfare fraud if you could prove it - like with receipts maybe? Thank God the baby is only 4 months old, and unable to grasp the realities that are going on. One more thing, not to alarm you, but there are people who will abuse the baby when they are out of it on drugs. This puts the baby in jeopardy every time they take him/her out into the drug community. [/QUOTE]
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