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Parent Emeritus
22, with 4 month old now stealing from us.
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 638117" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>Everyone has given you very good advice so far. I will make a suggestion about the idea to try to figure out what your difficult child's mental health issue is. We spent a significant amount of time trying to figure out what our difficult child's mental health issue was. In the end all it did was cause us to worry even more. Due to being biased about the situation, we couldnt remain clinically detatched so kept going to worst case scenarios. Im not telling you not to do this, just saying to be cautious with it. When push comes to shove, even if you are spot on with your diagnosis its not like you're a physician to prescribe the needed medications or a miracle worker to make her take them.</p><p> </p><p>As far as the child goes, she is ultimately responsible for the welfare of that child. If you're willing to take over responsibility then document neglect, work with the police to catch them in the act with drugs, and anything else that you need to do in order to prove them unfit parents. Then you can petition the courts for custody of the child. If you arent willing, then instead of petitioning the court for custody see about placing the child up for adoption. Im sorry if this is coming off as a bit cold blooded. Not trying to judge or get emotional, just trying to help you see your options.</p><p> </p><p>My wife, Lil, and I had to kick our difficult child out on Saturday for pretty much the exact same issues, sans infant, as your daughter. My son is 19 and your daughter is 22. They are adults and therefore responsible for and subject to the consequences of their actions because they are legally adults even though they dont act it. We have come to the conclusion that our son has been comfortable "running away" before because he always knew we would take him back. I fully expect for him to come back in a few weeks begging for us to welcome him back. It wont happen any time soon. Its called tough love because its tough, not just on the difficult child but on the parents as well. I fully expect the next few months to be hell as he has already tried to guilt trip us. Stay strong and see to the other family members. They cannot be ignored in this. I dont know your whole situation so dont know if its time yet for tough love. Just be prepared for when it is. Dont lose your family over one child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 638117, member: 18238"] Everyone has given you very good advice so far. I will make a suggestion about the idea to try to figure out what your difficult child's mental health issue is. We spent a significant amount of time trying to figure out what our difficult child's mental health issue was. In the end all it did was cause us to worry even more. Due to being biased about the situation, we couldnt remain clinically detatched so kept going to worst case scenarios. Im not telling you not to do this, just saying to be cautious with it. When push comes to shove, even if you are spot on with your diagnosis its not like you're a physician to prescribe the needed medications or a miracle worker to make her take them. As far as the child goes, she is ultimately responsible for the welfare of that child. If you're willing to take over responsibility then document neglect, work with the police to catch them in the act with drugs, and anything else that you need to do in order to prove them unfit parents. Then you can petition the courts for custody of the child. If you arent willing, then instead of petitioning the court for custody see about placing the child up for adoption. Im sorry if this is coming off as a bit cold blooded. Not trying to judge or get emotional, just trying to help you see your options. My wife, Lil, and I had to kick our difficult child out on Saturday for pretty much the exact same issues, sans infant, as your daughter. My son is 19 and your daughter is 22. They are adults and therefore responsible for and subject to the consequences of their actions because they are legally adults even though they dont act it. We have come to the conclusion that our son has been comfortable "running away" before because he always knew we would take him back. I fully expect for him to come back in a few weeks begging for us to welcome him back. It wont happen any time soon. Its called tough love because its tough, not just on the difficult child but on the parents as well. I fully expect the next few months to be hell as he has already tried to guilt trip us. Stay strong and see to the other family members. They cannot be ignored in this. I dont know your whole situation so dont know if its time yet for tough love. Just be prepared for when it is. Dont lose your family over one child. [/QUOTE]
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