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22 year old son with bipolar still living at home makes us miserable, what to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 603040" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Hello and welcome! You are already ahead of where most people are in your position. Seeing a therapist to learn to set boundaries and contacting NAMI was a great start.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I went through the NAMI Family-to-Family course and found it very helpful. They would be the first to tell you that you should not accept violence in your home. You need to call the police each and every time that your son hits you, threatens you, or damages your home. Let them know that he has a mental illness so that they know what they are dealing with. You need to let your son know that you have a firm line drawn in the sand when it comes to his abuse against you or anyone else in the family</p><p></p><p>Next, tell him he has to sign those forms or leave. Period. Don't let him bully you. I would also tell him that he has to accept that he has a illness and needs to start therapy and take medications. If he refuses, then tell him that if there is nothing wrong with him then there is no need for a 22-year-old man to be living off of his parents and that it is time that he gets a job and moves out.</p><p></p><p>Set a clear time frame for this to happen and stick to your guns. It won't be easy and it won't be pretty but it needs to happen. Have your therapist help you create a plan. Our therapist told us the most important thing is to do what you say that you are going to do. No gray areas or your difficult child will take avantage of them.</p><p></p><p>Your son is mentally ill and that is sad but it is not an excuse for him to make the rest of you miserable. Many people with mental illnesses do get to the point where they can function in life. You need to help him get there.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 603040, member: 1967"] Hello and welcome! You are already ahead of where most people are in your position. Seeing a therapist to learn to set boundaries and contacting NAMI was a great start. My husband and I went through the NAMI Family-to-Family course and found it very helpful. They would be the first to tell you that you should not accept violence in your home. You need to call the police each and every time that your son hits you, threatens you, or damages your home. Let them know that he has a mental illness so that they know what they are dealing with. You need to let your son know that you have a firm line drawn in the sand when it comes to his abuse against you or anyone else in the family Next, tell him he has to sign those forms or leave. Period. Don't let him bully you. I would also tell him that he has to accept that he has a illness and needs to start therapy and take medications. If he refuses, then tell him that if there is nothing wrong with him then there is no need for a 22-year-old man to be living off of his parents and that it is time that he gets a job and moves out. Set a clear time frame for this to happen and stick to your guns. It won't be easy and it won't be pretty but it needs to happen. Have your therapist help you create a plan. Our therapist told us the most important thing is to do what you say that you are going to do. No gray areas or your difficult child will take avantage of them. Your son is mentally ill and that is sad but it is not an excuse for him to make the rest of you miserable. Many people with mental illnesses do get to the point where they can function in life. You need to help him get there. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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22 year old son with bipolar still living at home makes us miserable, what to do?
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