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22 yr. old son with Bipolar Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 663160" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I have been going through the same set of circumstances. My son is now 26. He will not take medications. He has been hospitalized multiple times but not in the past year or more. He says he feels more stable, but seems very hostile. He is not generally violent but can destroy property when he is angry.</p><p></p><p>He ended up applying for SSI for mental illness and he got it the first time he applied.</p><p></p><p>My son is not living with us. When he does stay with us, even overnight, he becomes hostile and aggressive. He cannot anymore stay here.</p><p></p><p>About 4 years ago, when he was your son's age, I insisted he leave. He had been working prior to that, but he abandoned the job. I could not tolerate him doing nothing in the house and not working or going to school.</p><p></p><p>He went to live with family friends. He tried to work some. Eventually when he got the SSI he no longer looked for work at all.</p><p></p><p>Now he pays a woman a small amount of rent to share a studio apartment. She is an older lady. He seems secure there. </p><p></p><p>Right now, I try to put few demands on him. I care mainly about his health.</p><p></p><p>He does not talk about working. I ask him about school, but he is still reluctant.</p><p></p><p>In my experience, there is nothing I can do to motivate my son. It has to come from him. They have to help themselves. Any solutions have to come from him. It is very frustrating and painful for me to accept. But really, I must. Because it is his life to live. They are adults now. Everything I try to do backfires.</p><p></p><p>In my experience putting conditions onto my son's living with us, made life really hard for everybody. They do only what they want. It leads to conflict if I try to impose what I want onto him. </p><p></p><p>I really want to have a relationship with my son. I do not want to fight. I do not want to be his monitor. I want to love him and be connected to him. I want him to feel that I love him. That is my priority now. That and trying to make a better life for myself.</p><p></p><p>For me, it was better that he live away from me, but in regular contact.</p><p></p><p>I am learning to keep my mouth shut but it is very slow going for me.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. In the morning you will have more replies.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 663160, member: 18958"] I have been going through the same set of circumstances. My son is now 26. He will not take medications. He has been hospitalized multiple times but not in the past year or more. He says he feels more stable, but seems very hostile. He is not generally violent but can destroy property when he is angry. He ended up applying for SSI for mental illness and he got it the first time he applied. My son is not living with us. When he does stay with us, even overnight, he becomes hostile and aggressive. He cannot anymore stay here. About 4 years ago, when he was your son's age, I insisted he leave. He had been working prior to that, but he abandoned the job. I could not tolerate him doing nothing in the house and not working or going to school. He went to live with family friends. He tried to work some. Eventually when he got the SSI he no longer looked for work at all. Now he pays a woman a small amount of rent to share a studio apartment. She is an older lady. He seems secure there. Right now, I try to put few demands on him. I care mainly about his health. He does not talk about working. I ask him about school, but he is still reluctant. In my experience, there is nothing I can do to motivate my son. It has to come from him. They have to help themselves. Any solutions have to come from him. It is very frustrating and painful for me to accept. But really, I must. Because it is his life to live. They are adults now. Everything I try to do backfires. In my experience putting conditions onto my son's living with us, made life really hard for everybody. They do only what they want. It leads to conflict if I try to impose what I want onto him. I really want to have a relationship with my son. I do not want to fight. I do not want to be his monitor. I want to love him and be connected to him. I want him to feel that I love him. That is my priority now. That and trying to make a better life for myself. For me, it was better that he live away from me, but in regular contact. I am learning to keep my mouth shut but it is very slow going for me. Keep posting. In the morning you will have more replies. [/QUOTE]
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22 yr. old son with Bipolar Disorder
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