24 hours

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Robinboots, Mar 20, 2010.

  1. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    GFG17 came home yesterday after 3 days in detention. Last time he was in detention, a year ago, he lasted 24hrs before starting in again. Guess what just happened?

    I told him no. That simple.

    He wanted to spend the night at N's. The place he's been supposedly staying for two weeks. Why, who knows? I said he could go there for a few hours this evening, but not stay over night. He started in on me.

    All the usual, you all know the drill. On and on and on. Why, Mom? Why not, Mom? That's dumb, that's stupid, I don't understand. On and on and on.

    I lost it. I admit it. But not at first.

    First, I said I wasn't going to listen, I'd said what I had to say, my answer was final. I actually said that twice. He kept on and on. I yelled, very pointedly, the same stuff. Told him to go to his room.

    Of course he refused. Repeatedly.

    I tried to stay calm. Didn't work. I screamed, I yelled, I tried to push him to his room. Yeah, that worked - I'm 5'3", he's over 6 foot, I weigh about 100 lbs less than he. I did grab him by his shirt, that didn't work either.

    I told him to leave. He wanted a note. No way. But I swear, I am NOT letting him back in this house. Period. Judge or no judge. No way.

    I imagine he went to the police, and he'll be here soon. I'm still not letting him in. Period.
  2. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    He went to the police station. Accused me of abuse. They sent an officer, he filed a report. Again. I imagine our file is at least taking up three drawers by now.
  3. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Oh, this just keeps getting better:

    GFG17 had his friend, the one he was staying with, take him to the ER! And they called me, of course, as his mom, for permission to treat. I was like, "treat for WHAT?" A head injury. Go figure.

    So I told the nurse - Joe - an abbreviated version of the long, sordid story. He did ask for the DJO's number, and about difficult child's doctor...said he'd try to reach him, but of course the psychiatrist is out-of-town. I told him about yesterday, and he was very sympathetic. Said he'd see what he could do to help difficult child.

    God, I hope so. Not being very trusting of the system, tho, I'm rather afraid of what else will come down the pike....
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    You know, this could be a blessing in disguise. Maybe difficult child will get some treatment instead of punishment.

    by the way, what is difficult child's diagnosis? Your signature doesn't say.
  5. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Sorry, my bad. He's Conduct Disorder and Bipolar. He told the hospital. that the Bipolar was news to him; it was to me, too, but that's what the psychiatrist's office faxed to court yesterday. And my mistake was in thinking like the courts do, as in "he's a CHILD". He shows more signs of adult BiPolar (BP) than child....

    Intake called me about an hour ago. They said, "Hi, I'm _______ from Intake; we saw difficult child yesterday." And I said: Yes, you did; and maybe if you'd admitted him, we wouldn't be going through all this right now.

    I'm hoping for something....but really not expecting it. More likely it'll be my fault...again.
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Likely, his illness (bipolar disorder) is fueling his behavior (conduct disorder). It's not your fault. He's ill and needs treatment. I hope he gets it this go-round.
  7. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    So here's what happened:

    I will not be arrested. There will be no report to DFS. There was no head injury - which I knew.

    But they can't keep him. He is not considered a danger to himself or others, so cannot be admitted in this state for inpatient mental health treatment. So they say. I may still be able to convince the judge to order this, and may be successful, but am not hopeful.

    The individual who called me, again, said he was very sorry, that he would do his best convince difficult child to go see his psychiatrist on Monday. Other than that, nothing. He did say I could report difficult child for filing a false police report, but I think I'm just too tired.
  8. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Actually, RB, I think you ought to file the report. Just for the official paper trail and in the event he tries it again. Unfounded, which is what this is considered, isn't hte same as filed a false report, and at some point down the road, that might make a difference in either protecting yourself or getting difficult child help.

  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Where's he at now?
  10. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    I don't know where he is. Probably with N, again. Doing my, um, "research" on FB last night, I found a party for a friend of his, one with whom he was crashing the last few weeks, so I imagine THAT is why he wanted to spend the night with N. Couldn't just ask, nope, had to make a big production and all.

    This is just such BS.