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General Parenting
26 yrs old son.anxiety/worried/many cluster B/ short version.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 764576" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Welcome to the forum. This is fantastic. I can imagine your relief.</p><p></p><p>These are extremely positive things and they speak to his ability to thrive in life.</p><p></p><p>As you know this is an extremely inappropriate thing to verbalize or even to think about a parent. Who is he, G-d? My son also believes and says things that are light-years away from how I think and live. I do not permit him to speak to me of these things. Sometimes, he crosses the boundary and I limit contact. It upsets me. But I choose not to be aggravated. I take this into account in evaluating how much time I want to be with him, and in what circumstances. </p><p></p><p>It is what it is. I have learned that I have a right to be okay. Even if my son is not. These things happen. Grown children often grow apart from their parents or have different viewpoints and lifestyles. We may not like it. It may hurt us. But how do you fight reality? </p><p></p><p>When our children thrive, it's their accomplishment. When they flounder, it is still their life, not ours.</p><p></p><p>This is his business. Not yours. At 26 his life is in his hands, not yours.</p><p></p><p>Again, his future is not your business. It is not that I don't have empathy with you. I do. I was you. Until I realized I had no role deciding in my son's life. First of all, to believe that made me ill. Second of all, it does not work.</p><p></p><p>This is the least of your worries. All kinds of people have troubled kids or kids in trouble. Look at our president. This is the reality of the world and life. The true answer for all of us, about all our children, is this: They're making their way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 764576, member: 18958"] Welcome to the forum. This is fantastic. I can imagine your relief. These are extremely positive things and they speak to his ability to thrive in life. As you know this is an extremely inappropriate thing to verbalize or even to think about a parent. Who is he, G-d? My son also believes and says things that are light-years away from how I think and live. I do not permit him to speak to me of these things. Sometimes, he crosses the boundary and I limit contact. It upsets me. But I choose not to be aggravated. I take this into account in evaluating how much time I want to be with him, and in what circumstances. It is what it is. I have learned that I have a right to be okay. Even if my son is not. These things happen. Grown children often grow apart from their parents or have different viewpoints and lifestyles. We may not like it. It may hurt us. But how do you fight reality? When our children thrive, it's their accomplishment. When they flounder, it is still their life, not ours. This is his business. Not yours. At 26 his life is in his hands, not yours. Again, his future is not your business. It is not that I don't have empathy with you. I do. I was you. Until I realized I had no role deciding in my son's life. First of all, to believe that made me ill. Second of all, it does not work. This is the least of your worries. All kinds of people have troubled kids or kids in trouble. Look at our president. This is the reality of the world and life. The true answer for all of us, about all our children, is this: They're making their way. [/QUOTE]
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26 yrs old son.anxiety/worried/many cluster B/ short version.
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