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General Parenting
3 1/2 year old boy, major issues arrising, need advice.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 466496" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think your son has been through too many changes in his young life and he understandably isn't dealing with it well at all. In three years he has had two daddies, one daddy (his real one) who is upset with him for calling your husband daddy and now he has a very rowdy, possibly troubled stepbrother. Normal kids don't bite a lot. He is certainly picking up some stuff from his step-brother, on top of dealing with living with you half the time and Dad half the time. I once read that this is a very bad and confusing arrangement for kids...the half and half bit. I don't know if it is or not, but imagine being three years old and being moved around that much, inheriting a new added father and a boisterous step-brother too. I think it would be a great idea if all of you, including biological father, got into therapy together. This poor kid has not had a chance to have a quiet, peaceful childhood yet. His life has been chaotic. He needs to be able to have consistency. I'm wondering if only one of you having primary custody would calm the chaos down. If you say bio. dad is abusive, it should probably be with you.</p><p></p><p>Also, I agree that his behavior with pulling pants down. suddenly pooping in his pants again and talking about seeing that porno movie could cause issues and sexual acting out...really, you need to get Dad to sit down with all of you in a clinical setting and all of you need to listen to what is best for this child. And your stepchild too, although the stepchild isn't going from Mom to Dad...still sounds like he has some serious issues. </p><p></p><p>All in all, I do think that you can get this worked out, but not on your own. I think you need a professional to help ALL of you (as in every single one) in order to come up with a good plan for your child. He may also benefit from seeing his own therapist (your child) to see if there is any sexual abuse going on...he is unlikely to talk about it in front of your entire family. There is a lot going on in this child's little world, and he needs in my opinion to be able to settle down and just be a kid.</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs))). It can and should get better. Just don't take it upon yourself to fix it...you can't do it alone. Keep us updated.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 466496, member: 1550"] I think your son has been through too many changes in his young life and he understandably isn't dealing with it well at all. In three years he has had two daddies, one daddy (his real one) who is upset with him for calling your husband daddy and now he has a very rowdy, possibly troubled stepbrother. Normal kids don't bite a lot. He is certainly picking up some stuff from his step-brother, on top of dealing with living with you half the time and Dad half the time. I once read that this is a very bad and confusing arrangement for kids...the half and half bit. I don't know if it is or not, but imagine being three years old and being moved around that much, inheriting a new added father and a boisterous step-brother too. I think it would be a great idea if all of you, including biological father, got into therapy together. This poor kid has not had a chance to have a quiet, peaceful childhood yet. His life has been chaotic. He needs to be able to have consistency. I'm wondering if only one of you having primary custody would calm the chaos down. If you say bio. dad is abusive, it should probably be with you. Also, I agree that his behavior with pulling pants down. suddenly pooping in his pants again and talking about seeing that porno movie could cause issues and sexual acting out...really, you need to get Dad to sit down with all of you in a clinical setting and all of you need to listen to what is best for this child. And your stepchild too, although the stepchild isn't going from Mom to Dad...still sounds like he has some serious issues. All in all, I do think that you can get this worked out, but not on your own. I think you need a professional to help ALL of you (as in every single one) in order to come up with a good plan for your child. He may also benefit from seeing his own therapist (your child) to see if there is any sexual abuse going on...he is unlikely to talk about it in front of your entire family. There is a lot going on in this child's little world, and he needs in my opinion to be able to settle down and just be a kid. (((Hugs))). It can and should get better. Just don't take it upon yourself to fix it...you can't do it alone. Keep us updated. [/QUOTE]
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3 1/2 year old boy, major issues arrising, need advice.
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