3 steps forward, 2 steps back

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by dlgallant, May 30, 2007.

  1. dlgallant

    dlgallant New Member

    difficult child actually showed up at the court house today as promised to pick up her summons for court. She'll be arraigned June 12. She also showed up to play for her team's last game of the season. She's thin and weak, but she showed up to play. She's still wearing heavy makeup to cover the facial bruises, but she was there. Her third step was to quit her job working for the creep that's manipulating her. She took a job in a dept store instead. I'm crossing my fingers that she's OK tonight when she tells him. I don't think he'll physically hurt her, but he will pull out all the stops to manipulate her back under his spell.

    Now for the 1 step back. She wants to plead guilty at the arraignment and be sentenced that day rather than take the plea deal. The deal requires counseling and she doesn't think there's fundamentally anything wrong with her. Her "advisor" has convinced her that the most she'll get is 2 days in jail and it's just a misdemeanor and according to him that's a better deal than counseling and expunging the charges altogether. I guess I should be happy she's accepting some responsibility, but I just don't feel optimistic about her future when she'd choose jail over getting better. She's still in agreement to an evaluation. Here's hoping the evaluation convinces her she needs help.

    Debbie
     
  2. Scent of Cedar I

    Scent of Cedar I New Member

    Waiting to hear with you, and wishing well.

    Barbara
     
  3. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Maybe between now and then something will change her mind. My difficult child fortunatley had a huge fear of going to jail, and wasn't too too hard to convince into counseling. Maybe something will click with her between now and then to change her mind.

    You'll be in my thoughts.
     
  4. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    If she is like most difficult children she doesn't like to think too far ahead...couseling probably seems like it will go on "forever" and getting the crime expunged probably doesn't mean squat to her right now....she'd rather just get it all over with. Has she ever been in jail? If she doesn't know what its like could be an eyeopening experience....

    Hope she can gain some insights for her future....thinking of you and your family.
     
  5. dlgallant

    dlgallant New Member

    She hasn't had the privilege of jail yet. I think she actually wants a night or 2 there to reinforce this bad girl image she's trying to paint of herself. I saw her drug test from her mental detention evaluation ...... completely clean. Despite all the noise about her various addictions, and even acting high, she was completely clean. And she's afraid counseling will make her look crazy! :rolleyes:
     
  6. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Maybe she's afraid a counselor is going to prove there is nothing wrong with her :surprise:

    She seems to be set on making people think there is.
     
  7. dlgallant

    dlgallant New Member

    Now there's something I hadn't thought of.
     
  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Sending prayers and supportive hugs your way. God's will be done.
     
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Taking responsibility is a huge step in the right direction.

    Sometimes all we can hope for is baby steps. Maybe as it grows closer she'll change her mind. If not, then spending a night or two in jail just might be unpleasant enough that she won't want to do it again. Some people just have to learn the hard way.

    Hugs
     
  10. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She wants to plead guilty at the arraignment and be sentenced that day rather than take the plea deal. The deal requires counseling and she doesn't think there's fundamentally anything wrong with her. Her "advisor" has convinced her that the most she'll get is 2 days in jail and it's just a misdemeanor and according to him that's a better deal than counseling and expunging the charges altogether.</div></div>

    If she pleads, is it possible for you to enter a statement to the judge at sentencing, before sentencing? Or maybe speak to the DA before sentencing? It sounds like you think she really needs the counselling, and that the current situation is your current best hope for that to happen.

    Maybe you could make sure it's part of the deal, whether she takes the plea bargain or pleads guilty?

    Just a thought.

    Mikey
     
  11. Jen

    Jen New Member

    Dont you just love the way they think? God forbid they admit they need help, or take the easy road.
    My son spent 10 days in jail and vowed no more, but he is always right on the border line of repeating himself.

    Jen
     
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