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3 year old with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) Autism
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 167314" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I think you and your husband are too familiar. He is used to you and feels safe with you. Our Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids have to put in a huge effort to "mind" people, and they can't keep it up all the time. They will tend to relax with people they feel safe with.</p><p></p><p>It's actually a good sign - it's a sign that he knows he is safe with you. I don't know if he understands the concept of "love" yet, but in his own way he knows you love him.</p><p></p><p>A very bright Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child is usually described as having splinter skills. In decades past such kids were labelled savants. Like "Rain Man" (which is a very sanitised, artificial idea of autism). difficult child 3 has been described as having savant skills, although now he's older (and those skills were ignored by his school) these skills seem to blend into a more normal manifestation of a bright child. He still struggles when teachers expect him to be equally bright in THEIR subjects.</p><p>Some things just take a lot longer with these kids. As difficult child 3 got older, he fell further behind his peers socially. He could still outstrip them in a number of academic areas but couldn't hold his own in a game of cricket.</p><p>A possible example here - difficult child 3 was hyperlexic. He was probably reading letters/numbers before he was 12 months old. We just don't know because he was non-verbal - but letters & numbers would hold his attention more than anything else. By the time he could stand & walk, he would stand and watch the microwave oven count down the seconds before it beeped. About that time he was able to vocalise the numbers, and would count aloud. He was recognising individual letters and saying the names, at about the same time.</p><p>And yet - he did not understand whole sentences. He could read aloud a piece of complex text, but did not have the language to be able to understand what he had just uttered.</p><p></p><p>Another thing - even after he was talking well, he still found it confronting to watch a movie (including cartoons) that he had not already sat through. He wouldn't read a book he didn't already know. One day we made him come to the movies with us - the village "movie club" would meet in the school hall and we would all watch the movie of the month, with any kids present allowed to watch, or sleep on the gym mats we pulled out for them. difficult child 3 was about 9 years old and we were watching "Mars Attacks!"</p><p>He was appalled, but tried to enjoy it. He couldn't take his eyes off the screen as he watched buildings demolished, people burned by death rays etc. We kept telling him, "It's only a movie. It's just pretend."</p><p>Afterwards when we were all having coffee and biscuits, difficult child 3 kept asking, "How did they make that film? Were they able to put the buildings back afterwards that they broke?"</p><p>Yes, honey. Or it wasn't the real building, it was a model."</p><p>In difficult child 3's mind, it had been real. He then asked, "What about the people? What about the lady and her dog? Did they switch their heads back again after they finished the movie?"</p><p>"HOney, they never had their heads swapped."</p><p>"Yes they did, I saw it. But they didn't have to stay like that, did they?"</p><p></p><p>At about this moment, husband & I started to feel dreadful. difficult child 3 had thought that actors actually allow such horrific things (including death by ray gun) to happen to them, because it's their job, and that people like us go to see this purely for the sake of entertainment. He was trying so hard to like it too, but really concerned for these poor people.</p><p></p><p>So husband spent time with him, showing him the "Making of" special section in various DVDs so he could understand how certain effects were created. We had also done a Special Effects DVD a few years earlier at a Sydney museum, and we dug that out and showed him too.</p><p></p><p>He's a very bright kid. He was talking fluently, he was reading fluently. We thought he understood what fiction was but he didn't. He must have thought we were callous and cruel, but as we were his parents he was determined to accept this about us and accept it with love.</p><p></p><p>he is a truly amazing boy and we totally got him wrong. Can you imagine how this could really traumatise someone? And yet we discount it, because it didn't really happen. It only seemed to happen, in his mind. But to a child, "seemed to happen" and "happened" - there is no difference, in the impact it has on the child. That is why it is so important to understand the situation from your child's point of view, so you can know why they are upset, or afraid, or angry.</p><p></p><p>You go to where your Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child is, and start form there. You can then lead them into your world, instead of dragging them, unwilling.</p><p></p><p>Think of how the best animal trainers work, then use the same techniques on your child.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 167314, member: 1991"] I think you and your husband are too familiar. He is used to you and feels safe with you. Our Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids have to put in a huge effort to "mind" people, and they can't keep it up all the time. They will tend to relax with people they feel safe with. It's actually a good sign - it's a sign that he knows he is safe with you. I don't know if he understands the concept of "love" yet, but in his own way he knows you love him. A very bright Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child is usually described as having splinter skills. In decades past such kids were labelled savants. Like "Rain Man" (which is a very sanitised, artificial idea of autism). difficult child 3 has been described as having savant skills, although now he's older (and those skills were ignored by his school) these skills seem to blend into a more normal manifestation of a bright child. He still struggles when teachers expect him to be equally bright in THEIR subjects. Some things just take a lot longer with these kids. As difficult child 3 got older, he fell further behind his peers socially. He could still outstrip them in a number of academic areas but couldn't hold his own in a game of cricket. A possible example here - difficult child 3 was hyperlexic. He was probably reading letters/numbers before he was 12 months old. We just don't know because he was non-verbal - but letters & numbers would hold his attention more than anything else. By the time he could stand & walk, he would stand and watch the microwave oven count down the seconds before it beeped. About that time he was able to vocalise the numbers, and would count aloud. He was recognising individual letters and saying the names, at about the same time. And yet - he did not understand whole sentences. He could read aloud a piece of complex text, but did not have the language to be able to understand what he had just uttered. Another thing - even after he was talking well, he still found it confronting to watch a movie (including cartoons) that he had not already sat through. He wouldn't read a book he didn't already know. One day we made him come to the movies with us - the village "movie club" would meet in the school hall and we would all watch the movie of the month, with any kids present allowed to watch, or sleep on the gym mats we pulled out for them. difficult child 3 was about 9 years old and we were watching "Mars Attacks!" He was appalled, but tried to enjoy it. He couldn't take his eyes off the screen as he watched buildings demolished, people burned by death rays etc. We kept telling him, "It's only a movie. It's just pretend." Afterwards when we were all having coffee and biscuits, difficult child 3 kept asking, "How did they make that film? Were they able to put the buildings back afterwards that they broke?" Yes, honey. Or it wasn't the real building, it was a model." In difficult child 3's mind, it had been real. He then asked, "What about the people? What about the lady and her dog? Did they switch their heads back again after they finished the movie?" "HOney, they never had their heads swapped." "Yes they did, I saw it. But they didn't have to stay like that, did they?" At about this moment, husband & I started to feel dreadful. difficult child 3 had thought that actors actually allow such horrific things (including death by ray gun) to happen to them, because it's their job, and that people like us go to see this purely for the sake of entertainment. He was trying so hard to like it too, but really concerned for these poor people. So husband spent time with him, showing him the "Making of" special section in various DVDs so he could understand how certain effects were created. We had also done a Special Effects DVD a few years earlier at a Sydney museum, and we dug that out and showed him too. He's a very bright kid. He was talking fluently, he was reading fluently. We thought he understood what fiction was but he didn't. He must have thought we were callous and cruel, but as we were his parents he was determined to accept this about us and accept it with love. he is a truly amazing boy and we totally got him wrong. Can you imagine how this could really traumatise someone? And yet we discount it, because it didn't really happen. It only seemed to happen, in his mind. But to a child, "seemed to happen" and "happened" - there is no difference, in the impact it has on the child. That is why it is so important to understand the situation from your child's point of view, so you can know why they are upset, or afraid, or angry. You go to where your Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child is, and start form there. You can then lead them into your world, instead of dragging them, unwilling. Think of how the best animal trainers work, then use the same techniques on your child. Marg [/QUOTE]
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