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30 Year Old BiPolar Daughter Going Downhill (again)
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 712823" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Remember that you only exist to your daughter when she wants or needs something from you. If she is not calling you, she is fine and has no use for you. Why walk up to trouble and say, Could I have some please? </p><p></p><p>As far as those boxes in your garage giving her some rights to live with you, no. You even asked a lawyer and he said no. You have no worries. You owe her NOTHING. She is grown and out. Keep her that way! She just thinks she can bamboozle you. We will help bamboozle proof you if you want.</p><p></p><p>Print out those phrases that are posted up there and tape them next to each of your phones. Put a copy by where you normally sit with your cordless phone too. It will help for when she calls and you answer without thinking. ''</p><p></p><p>Does she have a key to your house or garage? If so, get the locks changed first thing. Even if it is expensive, you MUST be sure she does not have a key. If she has a key, she can enter at will and that is a problem. So get that fixed if you need to. Keep the deadbolts locked if she does not have a key to those. (If she had a spare key just in case)</p><p></p><p>If she comes over to talk, don't open the door. Tell her it is a bad time and you are not feeling up to it. Offer to meet her somewhere else like the mall or a restaurant to talk there. Or just tell her you don't want her to come in. There is nothing wrong with being honest but it will likely upset her quite a bit. If she insists on coming in, call the police for an intruder. </p><p></p><p>I found it helped to write down the steps of what I planned to do in each situation, rather than to just think them through. I wrote them down, or printed them out, and put them where I could see them. Taped by the door, or the phone, or put by the chair where I sat to read and drink tea and talk on the phone of an evening, I had the directions and was ready when my difficult relative called or came by. I had my phrases so I didn't give out money or get pulled into another scheme, and I was ready when he showed up at the door and tried to bully his way into my home. Having those directions really helped me keep cool, and it made a difference because it gave me confidence which made me believable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 712823, member: 1233"] Remember that you only exist to your daughter when she wants or needs something from you. If she is not calling you, she is fine and has no use for you. Why walk up to trouble and say, Could I have some please? As far as those boxes in your garage giving her some rights to live with you, no. You even asked a lawyer and he said no. You have no worries. You owe her NOTHING. She is grown and out. Keep her that way! She just thinks she can bamboozle you. We will help bamboozle proof you if you want. Print out those phrases that are posted up there and tape them next to each of your phones. Put a copy by where you normally sit with your cordless phone too. It will help for when she calls and you answer without thinking. '' Does she have a key to your house or garage? If so, get the locks changed first thing. Even if it is expensive, you MUST be sure she does not have a key. If she has a key, she can enter at will and that is a problem. So get that fixed if you need to. Keep the deadbolts locked if she does not have a key to those. (If she had a spare key just in case) If she comes over to talk, don't open the door. Tell her it is a bad time and you are not feeling up to it. Offer to meet her somewhere else like the mall or a restaurant to talk there. Or just tell her you don't want her to come in. There is nothing wrong with being honest but it will likely upset her quite a bit. If she insists on coming in, call the police for an intruder. I found it helped to write down the steps of what I planned to do in each situation, rather than to just think them through. I wrote them down, or printed them out, and put them where I could see them. Taped by the door, or the phone, or put by the chair where I sat to read and drink tea and talk on the phone of an evening, I had the directions and was ready when my difficult relative called or came by. I had my phrases so I didn't give out money or get pulled into another scheme, and I was ready when he showed up at the door and tried to bully his way into my home. Having those directions really helped me keep cool, and it made a difference because it gave me confidence which made me believable. [/QUOTE]
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