$35 worth of text msgs for July

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Aug 14, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I knew difficult child was sneaking my cell ph, and he insisted he had only sent 2 text msgs to his friends, Iv and H in particular. Clearly, he erased them, because the bill came yesterday, indicating that he had sent 35 msgs and rec'd 55. Several of these had added costs because we were vacationing in Hawaii.
    He gets $5 allowance every wk.
    Looks like 7 wks of NOTHING.

    When they're not on the cell ph, they call the house ph. Call, talk, hang up. Call, talk, hang up. Call, talk, hang up. Over and over and over. Bad enough he's undisiciplined, but his friends are Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), as well.

    I don't think just taking away his allowance is enough. Hmm. What to do ...

    I spoke to Iv's mom the other day, because the two of them (difficult child and Iv)were on the ph at 1 a.m.! difficult child had taken the portable upstairs at our house, while Iv had rec'd a cell ph as a gift from his grandmother, had taken it downstairs and pretended to sleep on the couch while his dad was sound asleep upstairs.
    :faint: :surprise:
    Thanks for letting me vent.
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2009
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Don't feel too bad. Onyxx is sitting with me and she says this sounds familiar...

    $5 a month will get you unlimited texting on some phones. It might be worth it, if he keeps sneaking your phone...
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ahhh the joys of learning about difficult child's and texting! May I suggest you add unlimited texting to your phone plan for future use so this doesnt happen again.

    As far as little mr happy fingers? Hmm...how bout making him type out a report about how cell phones were developed and how much various cell phone plans cost?
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oooh, I like that idea!
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Hi!! Sorry i've been there so many times too with the stupid cell's.........ugh!!

    I went into my account and pay an extra 5 a mos to be able to block her phone to punish her when she goes overboard with the texts or calls and jacks the bill up!

    Vent away!!!!
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    We went with the unlimited plan, because Hubby and I wanted the text feature, and restraining Miss KT was easier said than done.

    If you don't text, can you disable the feature?
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is so aggravating when they do this.

    Instead of letting him pay off the $ iwht allowance make him do digging or scrubbing or weeding or mowing. Heavy stuff. with-in a week he will totally forget why you took his allowance away. He willjust see you being mean. That means he won't learn not Occupational Therapist (OT) odoit. THen add the unlimited messaging service and make HIM do the ten buck a month it costs. Of course you need to keep the phone handsets in your room so he cannot sneak one. A friend of mine cancelled her home phone service and just uses the cell service. She cannot keep track of more than one phone and her kids gotinto the phone sex stuff. A good idea to block those 900 numbers at the time you are making changes. Sooner or later you will end up with that problem too.
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    He needs to earn the money to pay for the texts. Allowancw removal is one option but I agree, it's too easy. I'd be setting some heavy chores also, but doon't keep rubbing in the punishment option. It's simply earning money by this stage. The yelling shouldbe over, now it's restitution time.

    Also another vital chore - DON'T tell him about how you can pay $5 to add unlimited texting. Instead, make him research phone plans in general to find the best choice for the expected usage pattern. Get him to set up a text file on the computer (or even aspreadsheet) listing the different plans, how much they cost and what they can do. It's simply a matter of fact that kids will send text messages, it's now in the culture. Short of disabling the capability, the alternative is to find a painless way of rolling withit. because if you disable it for now, the time will rapidly come when society in general will make it too important.

    Example - my exBIL hated seat belts. He didn't mind if his vehicle had them, but he couldn't be bothered using them. Then our government brought it in as law - if a vehicle is fitted with sdeat belts, you MUST wear them!
    So he went over the family vehicles and removed the seat belts. No government was telling HIM what to do! The family had a mini bus for getting around (five kids plus dog) and even though the kids would happily wear teir seat belts, Daddy took the seat belts out so HE wouldn't have to be pushed around by the government.

    A few years down the track - the government now says, "All vehicles by now are made with seat belts in them. So anyone whose vehicle doesn't have seat belts now, had better get them installed. failure to have seat belts installed AND failure to wear them, incurs penalties."
    So he had to pay to have seat belts put back in to the vehicles he'd had them removed from.

    My point is - you can try to ease back on technology available in your attempts to cut back on family use of the same technology. But increasingly, you will find yourself unable to avoid having to use it. Maybe your doctor will start sending you appointment reminders by text (I have several that do this now) or some other important service will be needed over your phone.

    So set him an assignment - find a phone plan that costs within $10 a month of your current plan but one which will avoid more big bills and nasty surprises like this. And NEVER, EVER lie about it again. Because the bill WILL come in, the lie will be exposed.

    The exercise to research phone plans will be a skill he will need for later in life. It's never too early to start!

  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Great ideas. Thank you.

    Hadn't thought to block the 900 #s. Ugh.
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Ah the joy's of getting older. I fear this!
    Let us know the outcome! I dislike cell-phones so much, but need one!
  11. Babbs

    Babbs New Member

    I finally bit the bullet last year and added a cellphone onto my plan for difficult child when he was 8. Gives us a "spare" phone for the house (we don't have a landline) and I can start teaching him responsibility with it. E.G. difficult child has to call me when he gets home from school, even though I'm usually only 15 minutes behind him, it gives a line for difficult child's dad to call him so I don't have to deal with the ex.

    I was able to pay a minimal fee to have "parental controls" - i.e. I can limit times of day when phone calls can be made (911 always goes through), I can block up to 15 phone numbers to either call or be called, I can block or unblock texting, sending of photos, etc. Anything that can be done on the phone I can block or control. Right now I have max controls on it, as difficult child gets older I may loosen it up a bit if he finds a way to pay for the bill.

    I'd check with your carrier to see if there's a way to control the texting on the phone. And I agree that 7 weeks is tooooo long of a time for a difficult child to see consequences completed - major chore time for him to pay off that bill in my opinion.