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36 hours after release from jail, difficult child is high and drunk...
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 618359" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Black,</p><p></p><p>first of all, I am really sorry you are in this awful emotional state of anxiety, doom, and despair over your son, mixed with hope--so consuming, so awful I am sorry, and I know the feeling well.</p><p></p><p>second..what are you asking? sounds like he has all the tools he needs. He has a PD willing to work for him, a state attorney willing to help him, and an ex who is housing him (maybe not for long!). You don't need to do anything. The choices are all his, and, as you can see, he is making them. Do you think he would be making them differently if he were at your house instead of your exes? Probably not, right?</p><p></p><p>He is 25, right? He chose to live with a crazy addict...when you sleeep with skunks you get sprayed. My son got arrested about 2 months ago and was crazed because he couldn't reach his girlfriend (they sleep under a bridge together) to let her know he was OK..all I could say was, darling, you have chosen a life where you are not a reliable or dependable presence to a woman or anyone...you ARE some one who can evaporate off the street. Your girlfriend IS some one who may also evaporate...you can't reach her because you both chose lives that are below the surface of the water...this isn't a lightening strike tragedy, it is the logical outcome of all your choices.</p><p></p><p>And guess what...when he got out she was aroud for a few days, then ran off with some other drug addicts. All his anxiety for naught.</p><p></p><p>I tell you taht because if your difficult child beat up his crazy girlfriend that he was living with (and that is not an excuse, by the way)--well he is choosing a life of crazy, that helps his behavior devolve, people who augment his own crazy...he is CHOOSING THAT. It isn't HAPPENING to him.</p><p></p><p>I don't see that you have much role here, other than to respond to your exes txt with "thats too bad" and let it all go. Start your own sweet short life without letting his mess drag you in. YOu can watch with kindness from a distance. You do not need to engage, and engaging, as you know in your heart, won't help or change things.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. We will ride along with you.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 618359, member: 17269"] Black, first of all, I am really sorry you are in this awful emotional state of anxiety, doom, and despair over your son, mixed with hope--so consuming, so awful I am sorry, and I know the feeling well. second..what are you asking? sounds like he has all the tools he needs. He has a PD willing to work for him, a state attorney willing to help him, and an ex who is housing him (maybe not for long!). You don't need to do anything. The choices are all his, and, as you can see, he is making them. Do you think he would be making them differently if he were at your house instead of your exes? Probably not, right? He is 25, right? He chose to live with a crazy addict...when you sleeep with skunks you get sprayed. My son got arrested about 2 months ago and was crazed because he couldn't reach his girlfriend (they sleep under a bridge together) to let her know he was OK..all I could say was, darling, you have chosen a life where you are not a reliable or dependable presence to a woman or anyone...you ARE some one who can evaporate off the street. Your girlfriend IS some one who may also evaporate...you can't reach her because you both chose lives that are below the surface of the water...this isn't a lightening strike tragedy, it is the logical outcome of all your choices. And guess what...when he got out she was aroud for a few days, then ran off with some other drug addicts. All his anxiety for naught. I tell you taht because if your difficult child beat up his crazy girlfriend that he was living with (and that is not an excuse, by the way)--well he is choosing a life of crazy, that helps his behavior devolve, people who augment his own crazy...he is CHOOSING THAT. It isn't HAPPENING to him. I don't see that you have much role here, other than to respond to your exes txt with "thats too bad" and let it all go. Start your own sweet short life without letting his mess drag you in. YOu can watch with kindness from a distance. You do not need to engage, and engaging, as you know in your heart, won't help or change things. I'm sorry. Echo Keep posting. We will ride along with you. Echo [/QUOTE]
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36 hours after release from jail, difficult child is high and drunk...
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