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36 hours after release from jail, difficult child is high and drunk...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 618375" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Blackgnat, what I hear in your post is your inability to understand how your difficult child can continue to live the way he does, continue to make the same bad choices and continue to create the same result. I also hear that in spite of all of that, you expect something different. I think that is what we parents do for a very long time..............we can't relate to what they do and we can't accept who they have turned out to be. And, we suffer in that. We are railing against reality. It's like hitting the same brick wall over and over again. </p><p></p><p>You have to really look at the truth of the situation here, he is who he is. That was very hard to me too. Make your goal acceptance of what is. Accept him for who he is. Not to forgive it or condone it or in any way agree with it, but you cannot change it and he isn't changing it, so all you can do is let go and accept what is. Accepting what is, is the hard part for us, we think WE can change it or make it different, but we can't. He is NOT the son you cared for when he was a child, he has morphed into someone else.............it's this person you can't accept. I know, I went through that too...............it's still difficult for me to see my difficult child as who she really is............but that is the truth. And, when I finally accepted that, MY LIFE got easier.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 618375, member: 13542"] Blackgnat, what I hear in your post is your inability to understand how your difficult child can continue to live the way he does, continue to make the same bad choices and continue to create the same result. I also hear that in spite of all of that, you expect something different. I think that is what we parents do for a very long time..............we can't relate to what they do and we can't accept who they have turned out to be. And, we suffer in that. We are railing against reality. It's like hitting the same brick wall over and over again. You have to really look at the truth of the situation here, he is who he is. That was very hard to me too. Make your goal acceptance of what is. Accept him for who he is. Not to forgive it or condone it or in any way agree with it, but you cannot change it and he isn't changing it, so all you can do is let go and accept what is. Accepting what is, is the hard part for us, we think WE can change it or make it different, but we can't. He is NOT the son you cared for when he was a child, he has morphed into someone else.............it's this person you can't accept. I know, I went through that too...............it's still difficult for me to see my difficult child as who she really is............but that is the truth. And, when I finally accepted that, MY LIFE got easier. [/QUOTE]
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36 hours after release from jail, difficult child is high and drunk...
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