Star*
call 911........call 911
There are so many good things in you, about you, around you, and ahead of you, that you are so unaware of - but
There are so many bad things about your past that you need to get rid of, be released from, deal with, and put behind you - before you can have them.
They're right there in front of you -
Someone once told me - and now I'll tell you because I used to think that I had to beat myself up everyday to prove how truly sorry I was in asking for forgiveness. This. is. a. lie.
Fact is? Forgiveness is given 100%, when you ask for it - just once. ONCE.
You don't have to continue to beat yourself up and ask for forgiveness daily- it's a once and done deal. Ask once? It's done. You don't ever have to ask again.
My point is this - YOU have beaten yourself up for a long, long time, and are continuing to do so. There is no joy for anyone in this behavior. Whatever you did? It's done. You're sorry? You say "I'm sorry, please forgive me?" Say it once - and let it go. It's that easy - STOP wasting the wonderful life you have -and get out there and live it. You weren't put on this earth to be miserable - you were put here for a reason, and it was NOT to be treated like dirt. NOR was it to treat yourself like dirt.
You're overweight? WELL - who can do anything about that? YOU. I've lost 140 lbs in the last 1 1/2 years. I was battered and abused - I got out, got therapy and won't EVER be treated like that AGAIN - EVER. I had a son that had behaviors so outrageous - I just don't even have time to go into it - I detached, tough loved and it's not easy - but I took every parenting class, read every book and got proactive on therapy - for me AND him. WHAT a difference in how I reacted to him...(if my kid said I have a "bone" I had an answer for it. BELIEVE ME - and I didn't just sit there - HE had a consequence too. I married Satan - I got a divorce.
I want you to see that YOU HAVE WORTH - YOU DO NOT have to live for your mistakes - OVER, DONE, FINI! You are NOT 20 years ago - YOU ARE SO - present tense - and smart, and kind, and artistic, and loving, and wonderful, and intuitive - and HERE - RIGHT HERE - not there (points to past).
I was 298 lbs sept of 2010 - size 24 pants....I'm now 160 lbs size 6-7. And I'm HOT.....(ask someone here - I have sexy boots too) Even at 298 lbs I was hot. (No kidding - all that clothing - girl ------whooo can't help but be hot)
In all seriousness - YOU HAVE FRIENDS - HERE - I have an easy new way of life - it's pretty easy - I'll help - Whatever it takes - But you can't keep putting yourself DOWN.
there is a huge difference between self-confidence (which you have) and self esteem (which you have NONE of). One you get by surviving and the other you get by going to therapy and talking through issues that tear your life apart - LIKE OUR KIDS and your past.....and men - (like your past) and the reasons you went for men older than you (there are MULTIPLE REASONS) and you don't know all the answers - so you need help to peel the layers back and find yourself and find out who 4timmy is.
There are plenty of places that will take you nearly free and help you with therapy and while you work on the mental part - and the physical part? It all comes together and you start feeling better about YOU and guess what happens then? YOU START feeling like a WARRIOR parent and then your son starts to get the idea - MOMMA is running the house and you get a little less friction from him and HE starts pulling HIS life together because he sees YOU getting yours together.
The more I got MYSELF together? The more Dude got himself together - in certain areas - and in others the harder he fought me but the therapist said it was BECAUSE he saw me getting my mess together - and that was a GOOD thing.
I learned boundaries, how to say NO to babysitting 15 kids, or buying 22 boxes of girlscout cookies, or that wrapping paper from kids going door to door, or how to tell the guys out in front of the quick-stop selling raffle tickets to bug off in a nice way.....you should see me with the people coming to my door selling stuff - yeah - Im awesome. - I'm better than the goat in the Aflack commercail - nah nah nah...
I read your response in the other post and it just killed me that you were so hard on yourself - SO....I wanted to let you know that someone DID see you. And I DO care. I do hear you......and I wanted you to know that I took it seriously.
You CAN be forgiven - and were the first time you asked - THAT's important for you to know. So with that in mind - Get on with the rest of it - and stop beating yourself up, lets work on the fat thing huh? It's not as hard as you think it is - You're probably gonna need a check up - I'd bet a dozen dollars you're pre-diabetic and need some medications help. other than that - a food change - eating more ---and limited exercise - and you're on your way to a better you.
Whatta ya say kiddo? Ready to take life by the horns and flip the Bull?
Let me know -
Hugs & Love
Star
There are so many bad things about your past that you need to get rid of, be released from, deal with, and put behind you - before you can have them.
They're right there in front of you -
Someone once told me - and now I'll tell you because I used to think that I had to beat myself up everyday to prove how truly sorry I was in asking for forgiveness. This. is. a. lie.
Fact is? Forgiveness is given 100%, when you ask for it - just once. ONCE.
You don't have to continue to beat yourself up and ask for forgiveness daily- it's a once and done deal. Ask once? It's done. You don't ever have to ask again.
My point is this - YOU have beaten yourself up for a long, long time, and are continuing to do so. There is no joy for anyone in this behavior. Whatever you did? It's done. You're sorry? You say "I'm sorry, please forgive me?" Say it once - and let it go. It's that easy - STOP wasting the wonderful life you have -and get out there and live it. You weren't put on this earth to be miserable - you were put here for a reason, and it was NOT to be treated like dirt. NOR was it to treat yourself like dirt.
You're overweight? WELL - who can do anything about that? YOU. I've lost 140 lbs in the last 1 1/2 years. I was battered and abused - I got out, got therapy and won't EVER be treated like that AGAIN - EVER. I had a son that had behaviors so outrageous - I just don't even have time to go into it - I detached, tough loved and it's not easy - but I took every parenting class, read every book and got proactive on therapy - for me AND him. WHAT a difference in how I reacted to him...(if my kid said I have a "bone" I had an answer for it. BELIEVE ME - and I didn't just sit there - HE had a consequence too. I married Satan - I got a divorce.
I want you to see that YOU HAVE WORTH - YOU DO NOT have to live for your mistakes - OVER, DONE, FINI! You are NOT 20 years ago - YOU ARE SO - present tense - and smart, and kind, and artistic, and loving, and wonderful, and intuitive - and HERE - RIGHT HERE - not there (points to past).
I was 298 lbs sept of 2010 - size 24 pants....I'm now 160 lbs size 6-7. And I'm HOT.....(ask someone here - I have sexy boots too) Even at 298 lbs I was hot. (No kidding - all that clothing - girl ------whooo can't help but be hot)
In all seriousness - YOU HAVE FRIENDS - HERE - I have an easy new way of life - it's pretty easy - I'll help - Whatever it takes - But you can't keep putting yourself DOWN.
there is a huge difference between self-confidence (which you have) and self esteem (which you have NONE of). One you get by surviving and the other you get by going to therapy and talking through issues that tear your life apart - LIKE OUR KIDS and your past.....and men - (like your past) and the reasons you went for men older than you (there are MULTIPLE REASONS) and you don't know all the answers - so you need help to peel the layers back and find yourself and find out who 4timmy is.
There are plenty of places that will take you nearly free and help you with therapy and while you work on the mental part - and the physical part? It all comes together and you start feeling better about YOU and guess what happens then? YOU START feeling like a WARRIOR parent and then your son starts to get the idea - MOMMA is running the house and you get a little less friction from him and HE starts pulling HIS life together because he sees YOU getting yours together.
The more I got MYSELF together? The more Dude got himself together - in certain areas - and in others the harder he fought me but the therapist said it was BECAUSE he saw me getting my mess together - and that was a GOOD thing.
I learned boundaries, how to say NO to babysitting 15 kids, or buying 22 boxes of girlscout cookies, or that wrapping paper from kids going door to door, or how to tell the guys out in front of the quick-stop selling raffle tickets to bug off in a nice way.....you should see me with the people coming to my door selling stuff - yeah - Im awesome. - I'm better than the goat in the Aflack commercail - nah nah nah...
I read your response in the other post and it just killed me that you were so hard on yourself - SO....I wanted to let you know that someone DID see you. And I DO care. I do hear you......and I wanted you to know that I took it seriously.
You CAN be forgiven - and were the first time you asked - THAT's important for you to know. So with that in mind - Get on with the rest of it - and stop beating yourself up, lets work on the fat thing huh? It's not as hard as you think it is - You're probably gonna need a check up - I'd bet a dozen dollars you're pre-diabetic and need some medications help. other than that - a food change - eating more ---and limited exercise - and you're on your way to a better you.
Whatta ya say kiddo? Ready to take life by the horns and flip the Bull?
Let me know -
Hugs & Love
Star