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<blockquote data-quote="cmh0150" data-source="post: 334220" data-attributes="member: 8070"><p>Thank you for sharing what you have been through and for sharing the insights you have gained.</p><p></p><p>I too worry about being in the honeymoon and want to know who this child is or who he will likely be. We want to be able to give him some tools and skills to make a living for himself as an adult. </p><p></p><p>This is the first child for us. We talked about this for so many years. Finally decided to go for it; after being the primary caregiver for my mother and moving her in with us. Certainly, it has been one of the most challenging things in our lives but the experience has also been rewarding. </p><p></p><p>We also have served as the 'surrogate parents" for partner's brother from when he was in his early 20s and we moved him in with us to now when he has his own kids who he is responsible for and takes care of (he still stays with us but does also spend time with his kids - that is another story).</p><p></p><p>With that, we decided we were ready to take on new challenges, even though older than the typical age for child rearing.</p><p></p><p>He is 10 and though he does not have a diagnosis of attachment disorder, his SW believes that is an issue. There was a report when he first came in the system of sexual abuse but nothing was verified. </p><p></p><p>I understand the medications are not the solution but hope that over time, with the right medications, good therapy and a strong family support system; we will be able to give him a fighting chance for a good life. </p><p></p><p>As for the adoption/fostering of another child, our thought was that this might help him adjust more to family life. Perhaps we are still naive about what these older children who are in the system have been through. Certainly, I do not want to complicate things. But we know there is such a need out there and still want to help. We will think about this carefully.</p><p></p><p>We probably are not aware of how draining this will be. The failed relationships that he has had are all the signs that we are in for a real battle. I don't know all I need to know about this situation. But we are willing to go as far as we can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cmh0150, post: 334220, member: 8070"] Thank you for sharing what you have been through and for sharing the insights you have gained. I too worry about being in the honeymoon and want to know who this child is or who he will likely be. We want to be able to give him some tools and skills to make a living for himself as an adult. This is the first child for us. We talked about this for so many years. Finally decided to go for it; after being the primary caregiver for my mother and moving her in with us. Certainly, it has been one of the most challenging things in our lives but the experience has also been rewarding. We also have served as the 'surrogate parents" for partner's brother from when he was in his early 20s and we moved him in with us to now when he has his own kids who he is responsible for and takes care of (he still stays with us but does also spend time with his kids - that is another story). With that, we decided we were ready to take on new challenges, even though older than the typical age for child rearing. He is 10 and though he does not have a diagnosis of attachment disorder, his SW believes that is an issue. There was a report when he first came in the system of sexual abuse but nothing was verified. I understand the medications are not the solution but hope that over time, with the right medications, good therapy and a strong family support system; we will be able to give him a fighting chance for a good life. As for the adoption/fostering of another child, our thought was that this might help him adjust more to family life. Perhaps we are still naive about what these older children who are in the system have been through. Certainly, I do not want to complicate things. But we know there is such a need out there and still want to help. We will think about this carefully. We probably are not aware of how draining this will be. The failed relationships that he has had are all the signs that we are in for a real battle. I don't know all I need to know about this situation. But we are willing to go as far as we can. [/QUOTE]
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