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<blockquote data-quote="JJJ" data-source="post: 334349" data-attributes="member: 1169"><p>Cmh,</p><p></p><p>Like MWM, we adopted children from foster care. Kanga came to us at almost 6 from 2 previous homes including a pre-adoptive home that didn't work out. These kids are rough. If we knew then what we know know, life would be very different. Our other kids were a bit younger (almost 5, almost 3 and an infant) and I would adopt them again in a heartbeat! But I do know several families that did older child adoption, including a few Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids, ages up to 16, and they were successful. The children are grown now, doing well, and still come home for visits and holidays, etc. </p><p></p><p>I would take a nice, long time before finalizing the adoption. I would also have a tough-as-steel lawyer negotiate your subsidy (you want it to include residential treatment as rx by a psychiatrist). </p><p></p><p>We had a great therapist who told us to stop taking things away from Kanga as a punishment because she had suffered enough loss in her life and overreacted to that type of punishment. Have you tried having him do something as a punishment? If he can write, maybe have him write an essay about what happened, how it felt, how he handled it, how the adults handled it and what everyone could have done to prevent it or handle it better. Another suggestion was having her take a walk with us until she was calm -- those walks could be long!</p><p></p><p>Good luck and welcome!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JJJ, post: 334349, member: 1169"] Cmh, Like MWM, we adopted children from foster care. Kanga came to us at almost 6 from 2 previous homes including a pre-adoptive home that didn't work out. These kids are rough. If we knew then what we know know, life would be very different. Our other kids were a bit younger (almost 5, almost 3 and an infant) and I would adopt them again in a heartbeat! But I do know several families that did older child adoption, including a few Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids, ages up to 16, and they were successful. The children are grown now, doing well, and still come home for visits and holidays, etc. I would take a nice, long time before finalizing the adoption. I would also have a tough-as-steel lawyer negotiate your subsidy (you want it to include residential treatment as rx by a psychiatrist). We had a great therapist who told us to stop taking things away from Kanga as a punishment because she had suffered enough loss in her life and overreacted to that type of punishment. Have you tried having him do something as a punishment? If he can write, maybe have him write an essay about what happened, how it felt, how he handled it, how the adults handled it and what everyone could have done to prevent it or handle it better. Another suggestion was having her take a walk with us until she was calm -- those walks could be long! Good luck and welcome! [/QUOTE]
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