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General Parenting
5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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<blockquote data-quote="helpmehelphim" data-source="post: 15603" data-attributes="member: 2650"><p>Smallworld, like you, we have fought this too. We used to use a lot of praise and even followed some of the Barkley stuff (which is helpful to some long term but wasn't for us once it stopped). It wasn't long before we could see that actually both kids took situations that were without praise as very negative and that they had done something wrong. They didn't seem as able to tap into the intrinsic feelings created by achieving something. </p><p></p><p>I remember discussing this issue with the school psychologist a couple of years ago because the school was big into praise and rewards (which at certain ages can be quite demeaning to some children and can turn things upside down. Take AR for example, all of a sudden, some kids aren't reading for enjoyment, they are reading for the prizes, parties and grades). I love the word "encouragement". It conjures up the image of helping in me. I need that a lot in my world, especially lately.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for the post Allan. I agree too and have seen the power of this in our home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpmehelphim, post: 15603, member: 2650"] Smallworld, like you, we have fought this too. We used to use a lot of praise and even followed some of the Barkley stuff (which is helpful to some long term but wasn't for us once it stopped). It wasn't long before we could see that actually both kids took situations that were without praise as very negative and that they had done something wrong. They didn't seem as able to tap into the intrinsic feelings created by achieving something. I remember discussing this issue with the school psychologist a couple of years ago because the school was big into praise and rewards (which at certain ages can be quite demeaning to some children and can turn things upside down. Take AR for example, all of a sudden, some kids aren't reading for enjoyment, they are reading for the prizes, parties and grades). I love the word "encouragement". It conjures up the image of helping in me. I need that a lot in my world, especially lately. Thanks for the post Allan. I agree too and have seen the power of this in our home. [/QUOTE]
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5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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