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General Parenting
5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 15616" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>Martie,</p><p></p><p>You are describing my oldest difficult child exactly. We used to say that he would go to the nuclear option rather than do something he didn't want to do. The less heavy handed we got we him the better. B-mod was a total failure, among other reasons because my kids weren't capable of complying. and yes paying in whatever currency to get results either resulted in frustration on their part when they couldn't be successful or a sense of pay me or I won't do it. with my oldest now that he is more stabilized, he seems to want to do his best more and more out of sense of feeling good internally. </p><p></p><p>I hope that if you are reading this thread and finding that b-mod is not giving you and your family the desired results will consider reading Kohn. It was a really eye-opening read for me. Also Greene has some material in Exp. Child about why behavior mod doesn't work on certain kids. </p><p></p><p>Thanks Allan for posting it. </p><p></p><p>Chris</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 15616, member: 2322"] Martie, You are describing my oldest difficult child exactly. We used to say that he would go to the nuclear option rather than do something he didn't want to do. The less heavy handed we got we him the better. B-mod was a total failure, among other reasons because my kids weren't capable of complying. and yes paying in whatever currency to get results either resulted in frustration on their part when they couldn't be successful or a sense of pay me or I won't do it. with my oldest now that he is more stabilized, he seems to want to do his best more and more out of sense of feeling good internally. I hope that if you are reading this thread and finding that b-mod is not giving you and your family the desired results will consider reading Kohn. It was a really eye-opening read for me. Also Greene has some material in Exp. Child about why behavior mod doesn't work on certain kids. Thanks Allan for posting it. Chris [/QUOTE]
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5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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