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General Parenting
5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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<blockquote data-quote="kris" data-source="post: 15627" data-attributes="member: 74"><p><font color="blue">back in the day when i first found this site doug riley was all the rage here & even posted here. i read his book....read it twice as a matter of fact. by the time i finished reading it someone mentioned ross greene's explosive child. </p><p></p><p>riley's defiant child methods would never have worked for jarrod. he was deeply depressed & the more you pushed him to do something the harder he fought back. i heaved a huge sigh of relief when i finished reading the explosive child. i knew this would work much better for my son. that being said, i can tell you he figured out *the plan* in less than a week lol.</p><p></p><p>while i'm a huge greene fan that is not to say that i didn't/don't hold my kids accountable for their decisions. I DO!!! </p><p></p><p>there is, i believe, a middle ground to be found. there is a delicacy to parenting. that fine line between hardcore behavior mod & the gentler approach used by greene. </p><p></p><p>eventually our kids will grow up & become adults. at that point society takes over & society will hold them accountable whether we like it or not. even kids/people who suffer from a mental illness needs to be held accountable for their poor choices. we must, at some point ~~~ & i think sooner rather than later is better ~~~ stop rescuing them & making excuses for their poor choices. </p><p></p><p>kris </font></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kris, post: 15627, member: 74"] <font color="blue">back in the day when i first found this site doug riley was all the rage here & even posted here. i read his book....read it twice as a matter of fact. by the time i finished reading it someone mentioned ross greene's explosive child. riley's defiant child methods would never have worked for jarrod. he was deeply depressed & the more you pushed him to do something the harder he fought back. i heaved a huge sigh of relief when i finished reading the explosive child. i knew this would work much better for my son. that being said, i can tell you he figured out *the plan* in less than a week lol. while i'm a huge greene fan that is not to say that i didn't/don't hold my kids accountable for their decisions. I DO!!! there is, i believe, a middle ground to be found. there is a delicacy to parenting. that fine line between hardcore behavior mod & the gentler approach used by greene. eventually our kids will grow up & become adults. at that point society takes over & society will hold them accountable whether we like it or not. even kids/people who suffer from a mental illness needs to be held accountable for their poor choices. we must, at some point ~~~ & i think sooner rather than later is better ~~~ stop rescuing them & making excuses for their poor choices. kris </font> [/QUOTE]
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5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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