Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 15634" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>I agree that what works for one kid may or may not work with another - it is trial and error.</p><p></p><p>We tried the good ol' sticker chart routine with difficult child 1. It worked great! As long as you never stopped giving him stickers and the resulting reward. Phase it out, he phased out the accompanying behavior just as fast (or slow). He needs strict and specific rules and guidelines, he doesn't understand what it means to "have a second chance" (its just inconsistency to him) and everything must be laid out in black and white - all gray eliminated. easy child 1, however, would have turned into a difficult child had he been held to the same standards. He needs the freedom and room to problem solve. He's a bit (admittedly) ODD, so having everything laid out for him as we have to do for difficult child 1 would push him away.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 2 came into this setting and turned it topsy-turvey again. He needs the guidelines, like difficult child 1, and he's capable of learning them, even seems to be capable of dealing with some gray, and has a lot of easy child's need for freedom to think in him, however, he can't process much at once. We've got to break everything down into minute little pieces. It took a year to be able to take him to the grocery store, and, silly me, I think "Yeah, stores have been conquered!" No, GROCERY stores have been conquered. We are now working on Dollar General. I expect it will take a year to conquer Dollar General, maybe longer, they have more things that interest him.</p><p></p><p>I do, however, have to agree that for neuro-typical children, the overuse of praise can be detrimental. If you play a competitive game, someone will win, and someone will lose. Such is life. And pretending its not that way, or, that a mediocre performance is great and deserves a trophy or medal, just sets them up for future failure and disappointment.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 15634, member: 1848"] I agree that what works for one kid may or may not work with another - it is trial and error. We tried the good ol' sticker chart routine with difficult child 1. It worked great! As long as you never stopped giving him stickers and the resulting reward. Phase it out, he phased out the accompanying behavior just as fast (or slow). He needs strict and specific rules and guidelines, he doesn't understand what it means to "have a second chance" (its just inconsistency to him) and everything must be laid out in black and white - all gray eliminated. easy child 1, however, would have turned into a difficult child had he been held to the same standards. He needs the freedom and room to problem solve. He's a bit (admittedly) ODD, so having everything laid out for him as we have to do for difficult child 1 would push him away. difficult child 2 came into this setting and turned it topsy-turvey again. He needs the guidelines, like difficult child 1, and he's capable of learning them, even seems to be capable of dealing with some gray, and has a lot of easy child's need for freedom to think in him, however, he can't process much at once. We've got to break everything down into minute little pieces. It took a year to be able to take him to the grocery store, and, silly me, I think "Yeah, stores have been conquered!" No, GROCERY stores have been conquered. We are now working on Dollar General. I expect it will take a year to conquer Dollar General, maybe longer, they have more things that interest him. I do, however, have to agree that for neuro-typical children, the overuse of praise can be detrimental. If you play a competitive game, someone will win, and someone will lose. Such is life. And pretending its not that way, or, that a mediocre performance is great and deserves a trophy or medal, just sets them up for future failure and disappointment. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
Top