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General Parenting
5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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<blockquote data-quote="Andrea Danielle" data-source="post: 15639" data-attributes="member: 2357"><p>Hello everyone, this has turned out to be a very interesting thread! I agree that a blend of both approaches can work, and it is up to us parents to figure out what the blend might be. I am mainly trying to implement the CPS approach and when I do it successfully with difficult child (or with easy child) it feels so great, I feel like I have really accomplished something great because we are both learning something from the experience. I could jump for joy when it works! When I revert back to the authoritative parenting style, I feel awful and it certainly doesn't work. I have tried a lot of different sticker charts with difficult child which did not work! He lost interest really fast and it didn't seem to help his behaviour, it has worked with easy child but he can be pretty greedy with rewards. One thing we have found really successful is our newest Behaviour Modification type plan which we call "Brother Points", I have a sheet with numbers 1-100 on a chart and whenever we see either of them doing a nice brotherly type thing, I give them a point. This way, it encourages them to be kind to each other, by sharing, playing nicely, hugging etc... Even if it is only easy child who is accumulating points one day, they both win out! They have huge sibling rivalry issues so this puts them on the same "team" and gives them something to work towards together. Next weekend we are taking them to Niagara Falls overnight because they have earned enough points. In fact, all of their rewards are fun things that they can do together, never material rewards. This is something that really does work. Other than this, we are Ross Greene all the way!</p><p></p><p>Andrea</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andrea Danielle, post: 15639, member: 2357"] Hello everyone, this has turned out to be a very interesting thread! I agree that a blend of both approaches can work, and it is up to us parents to figure out what the blend might be. I am mainly trying to implement the CPS approach and when I do it successfully with difficult child (or with easy child) it feels so great, I feel like I have really accomplished something great because we are both learning something from the experience. I could jump for joy when it works! When I revert back to the authoritative parenting style, I feel awful and it certainly doesn't work. I have tried a lot of different sticker charts with difficult child which did not work! He lost interest really fast and it didn't seem to help his behaviour, it has worked with easy child but he can be pretty greedy with rewards. One thing we have found really successful is our newest Behaviour Modification type plan which we call "Brother Points", I have a sheet with numbers 1-100 on a chart and whenever we see either of them doing a nice brotherly type thing, I give them a point. This way, it encourages them to be kind to each other, by sharing, playing nicely, hugging etc... Even if it is only easy child who is accumulating points one day, they both win out! They have huge sibling rivalry issues so this puts them on the same "team" and gives them something to work towards together. Next weekend we are taking them to Niagara Falls overnight because they have earned enough points. In fact, all of their rewards are fun things that they can do together, never material rewards. This is something that really does work. Other than this, we are Ross Greene all the way! Andrea [/QUOTE]
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5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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