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General Parenting
5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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<blockquote data-quote="helpmehelphim" data-source="post: 15642" data-attributes="member: 2650"><p>Andrea, you know what? We used that same plan but called it "caught being nice". And if someone in the family was caught doing a nice thing for someone else (or themselves...we had big issues with- one child calling himself stupid) then points were given/earned. It takes a lot to keep up with that....so I feel ya! It did some good things though...it really put the focus on doing nice things. The only problem I encountered was that my boys got competitive about points..."how many do you have" or "you have more than me". Other than that it worked until it didn't anymore...if you know what I mean. I don't remember your kids ages....mine were about 8 yrs. old or maybe 9. </p><p></p><p>I understand what you are saying about Greene too and the collaboration. It does feel really good when we do it. Or maybe for me it feels worse than it used to, when I don't do it? I don't know... Things are much calmer when I use the approach (yesterday and today, hopefully tomorrow?). Ok, gotta go. My toddler is here letting me know that it's time to read Thomas the Train. :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpmehelphim, post: 15642, member: 2650"] Andrea, you know what? We used that same plan but called it "caught being nice". And if someone in the family was caught doing a nice thing for someone else (or themselves...we had big issues with- one child calling himself stupid) then points were given/earned. It takes a lot to keep up with that....so I feel ya! It did some good things though...it really put the focus on doing nice things. The only problem I encountered was that my boys got competitive about points..."how many do you have" or "you have more than me". Other than that it worked until it didn't anymore...if you know what I mean. I don't remember your kids ages....mine were about 8 yrs. old or maybe 9. I understand what you are saying about Greene too and the collaboration. It does feel really good when we do it. Or maybe for me it feels worse than it used to, when I don't do it? I don't know... Things are much calmer when I use the approach (yesterday and today, hopefully tomorrow?). Ok, gotta go. My toddler is here letting me know that it's time to read Thomas the Train. [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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5 reasons to stop saying ' Good Job ' - Alfie Kohn
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