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The Watercooler
6 months from now...
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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 508032" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>Thanks for the lead in PatriotsGirl!</p><p></p><p>That is the entire topic really. Did you forgive him? I have to agree with DDD here, as I often do, because it sounds to me like you have not been able to forgive him. I realize that the reason you have not been able to forgive him is because he has not done what you think he should do in order for you to forgive him. Whatever that may be (and I think it would be different for every couple). </p><p></p><p>But, I don't think it works like that. I don't think he can 'be nice' it away (even though he is not even trying to 'be nice' it away). I think it is more about you then him. I really, really strongly suggest counseling for you now. ASAP. Before you make any decisions either way. </p><p></p><p>I think it is entirely possible that you may find that his past actions will not be able to be forgiven by you. You may find you can never get back to where you were before. But, that should be the basis of the decision. Not who is on his FB page. That is trivial. </p><p></p><p>You have not forgiven. Are you capable of forgiving his actions? That is what you have to figure out. I don't think I would even attempt that one on my own. Get yourself a counselor to help you work through your thoughts and feelings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 508032, member: 391"] Thanks for the lead in PatriotsGirl! That is the entire topic really. Did you forgive him? I have to agree with DDD here, as I often do, because it sounds to me like you have not been able to forgive him. I realize that the reason you have not been able to forgive him is because he has not done what you think he should do in order for you to forgive him. Whatever that may be (and I think it would be different for every couple). But, I don't think it works like that. I don't think he can 'be nice' it away (even though he is not even trying to 'be nice' it away). I think it is more about you then him. I really, really strongly suggest counseling for you now. ASAP. Before you make any decisions either way. I think it is entirely possible that you may find that his past actions will not be able to be forgiven by you. You may find you can never get back to where you were before. But, that should be the basis of the decision. Not who is on his FB page. That is trivial. You have not forgiven. Are you capable of forgiving his actions? That is what you have to figure out. I don't think I would even attempt that one on my own. Get yourself a counselor to help you work through your thoughts and feelings. [/QUOTE]
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